The Hobbit – MOVIE – Episode 43
The Buddies find themselves back in Tolkien’s Middle Earth, this time watching The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Let’s just say this wasn’t the Buddies favorite movie. They discuss the differences between The Hobbit book versus movie, argue about throwing money at problems, food meaning, fully stocked pantries, and much more. Are you in need of a cathartic experience after watching the movie or maybe you are just looking for advice on dealing with a large goiter, either way you’ve come to the right place.
Intro: (0:00-1:40)
Stock Up/Down (1:41-23:36)
Favorite Scene (23:37-25:13)
Love/Hate (25:14-36:09)
Book vs Movie (36:10-38:24)
Review/Conclusion (38:25-41:43)
Next Book: FOUNDATION by ISAAC ASIMOV
Next Movie: THE GRAY MAN
Transcript for SEO Purposes 🙂
Alright. Welcome buddy Book Club. I’m Dylan here with the Gordon of the Goblin King. Keith. What’s up, buddy? EW. How are we doing? I love that goblin. King Gordon It’s the best part of the whole movie. What is it? Oh, the thing that’s protruding on his neck. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Here at the Buddy Book Club, we’re breaking down the best it’s actually me. We’re breaking down some box office bangers. And this week we’re discussing The Hobbit, where we release our podcast of the book right before Christmas. So this time around, we’re taking a longer look at the movie version. If you like to recommend a book for us to read or movie, reach out to us. Or you could just slide into the DMs on Buddybook.com, Twitter, Instagram, Buddy, book a podcast. You can listen to us on itunes and Spotify. So please download and subscribe. If you’re one of the people in Casper, Wyoming, just shoot us a note. It doesn’t have to be anything. It could really just be a period. I just want to know that you’re real. Unless this is some sort of AI hub, the Area 51 of podcasts, anyone is listening to this at all, shoot us a note. People are actually listening in any way. Otherwise we’re just talking to the void, which is what I usually do every day anyway. So it’s fine. We want to hear from you. That’s it. Okay. So The Hobbit movie, we’re mixing up some movies, and with the books, we have, you know, 40 book episodes, and a lot of those have movies associated with them. So we’re going to go through and kind of compare and contrast the books of the movie, catch up with the movie in general. And we’ll be doing it for a variety of the books and maybe some that we didn’t even read or weren’t books in the first place. But we’ll find that out later. Let’s get into stock up. Stocks out about the hobbit. Keith, what do you have for Stock Up? Yeah. Stock up. Dumb and dumber. Oh, the stock is all that high for me. Number one favorite comedy. But you just keep doubling down. The stock keeps splitting. It’s like Microsoft at this point. Why not Apple? Probably be it. The one thing that really, really did not sit well with me is the end of the movie. They try to pull a Dumb and Dumber. The whole just when you think couldn’t possibly get any dumber, you go and do something like this and totally redeem yourself. They tried to do that, but it made no sense. Zero sense. Literally, the scene before by he are we talking about Billboard? Okay, Martin. Literally, the scene before and this is the end of movies, the spoilers. But takes his ring off and he’s like, I’m here. And they’re like, Why’d you come back? And he gives a speech. He’s like, It’s about finding your home. It’s a really heartwarming scene, right? And you’re like, oh, okay, I get it. And then literally the next thing that happens again, this big fight, he proceeds to save the main dude, what’s his name? Talon. Thor and Oakenshield. Yeah, Talon. When he played Zelda ocrea of Time over there. He proceeds to save his life by defending him and battling the Orcs, or whatever the book there are. Yeah. And then they get saved by the Eagles and then the guy tries to pull the dumb and dumber on him. It didn’t make any sense. Damon, make it make sense. What’s going on? It didn’t make any sense. Like, people would be like, wait, is he still upset with him? It’s like, no, he literally just saved flights. You couldn’t possibly be wasn’t even upset with him before that, though. What was he upset about him before? It didn’t make sense. I mean, Thorn one, he’s like super grumpy. I feel like he’s grumpier in the movie than he was in the books. Right. It seems like that actor was playing in a different movie. He was just serious and like mean the whole time. And you’re like, wait, what? What’s going on here? Why is this one dude like this? Also. Was he Rob Zombie? That’s a good point. It could have been, was he more human than human? I feel like the makeup people are just like, instead of face prosthetics, let’s just make him look like Rob Zombie. Yeah, he was brooding the whole time and everyone’s going for errorboard. Like they all have their plan, but it’s going to be a long journey. Like you can’t be pissed off the whole way. You got to let loose a little bit. So I mean, Thorn is going to have like an embolism or something. He’s so tense. He needs an old fashioned just to get a release because, good God, he’s just too up in himself. So I can’t explain that last part. I agree with you. It didn’t make any sense to me. It was like, why would you be mad at Bilbo anymore? He was mad at him in the firm. Not like mad at him, but what is he doing here? Because he is bilbo is a fish out of water and not a burglar, not a warrior, not anything. So I get why Thorn felt like he was just like baggage. The only real reason Gandalf brought him around and even say it in the book is that dragons don’t know what hobbits smell like. And they’re small. It’s like, okay, so we’re going to take him on a 4000 miles road trip so that at the end, hopefully dragon won’t smell him. So I get it, but I don’t get the last part. Yeah, switcheroo. Didn’t make any sense. No. My first stock up is throwing money at a problem. So if you’re ever in a situation where things aren’t looking good, you just throw money at it and it will fix itself out. You have problems within your relationships, like just throw money at it. That’s what Tony Soprano did. He taught us everything about throwing money at a problem. And in this case, Peter Jackson and Co, they just threw money at this thing. I mean, the CGI, the set pieces, the scenery, like the helicopter shots, all that is gorgeous. Like, so well done. The script, they hold the movie itself. Like what happens in the scene by scene basis, not that good. So it’s kind of like you put a diamond on a cubic zirconia necklace or something. I don’t know. And so the shiny part looks good, but the rest of it’s kind of trash. But, hey, it made up for it a little bit. You agree, right? It was beautiful. Yeah. I was thinking, like, oh, this actually would have been nice to see in the movie theater even though the plot itself wasn’t nice to see in any theater. But, yeah, the plot had a lot of holes and also just a lot of filler in it, which makes little sense. It had so many weird holes, but also just long scenes that really didn’t make any sense. But I thought, like, the CGI we’ll get into some of that stuff was really good. The scenery, I mean, I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand after seeing the original Lord of the Ring stuff that they brought back in a very good way. It’s just fucking gorgeous. Wait, did you think it was funny? Funny? No. Yeah. I wouldn’t even say this movie is, like, silly. It definitely tries to be at some points, but it was, like, pathetic, if that’s what you mean. Silly didn’t make any sense. Silly as confusing. Correct. Okay. What else? Do you ever stock up? Stock up ugly people. As an ugly man, how do you? You did already mention the Goiter. But I did notice that this whole movie you were either ugly as sin or really good looking. Really ridiculously good looking, which for both of us would be great. Not saying which group we fall into, obviously, but we both now. But in the other side of the coin, average Joe kind of stocked down. Basically, if you’re just an average looking person, they’re like, we don’t have room for you. You either have to be a troll or you have to be, like, a beautiful elf. There’s no in between. Get the fuck out of here. So, what about Radigast? Where does Radagast fall in there? I don’t know who that is. Why did you watch the movie? I didn’t know any of the names of any of these people. They just kept paying homage to, like, old shit. Who are these people? I haven’t seen The Lord of the Rings forever. So I’m like, what? What’s going on? Okay, so I guess just quickly I’m going to talk more about the ugly people, attractive people. But you say Radish is that a salad? What was his name Radicas. So you saw The Lord of the Rings movies maybe years ago. Haven’t revisited them. Yeah, and with that being said, this movie made no sense for half the movie. When they were just bringing old characters back in that I didn’t remember. I was like, oh, that goes into the old ones. That’s it. He or she is here. Yeah. So you never had revisited Lord of the Rings? Never read the books. Kind of. You weren’t really into the whole Tolkien verse in general, is what I’m getting. No, yeah. I mean, you either do that or you go, Star Wars. I want the Star Wars. Kind of talk about that on The Hobbit. The Hobbit book podcast. Got you. Okay. So I could see how this is not something that you’re super paying attention to. How many times you pick up your phone? A lot. Okay, fair enough. So Radigast is the other wizard, the guy that has the bird shit in his hair, radigast the Brown. I had no idea why he was in that movie. He’s one of my hates. I was like, who is this guy? Was he in the original Lord of the Rings? In the original Lord of the Rings, no. But in The Hobbit book, I think Frodo asks Scandalf of their other wizards or stuff like that. He said, well, yeah, there’s red against the brown and like, two other Blue Wizards who I don’t know. I barely remember names as it is. What was his point in the movie? This makes me so much more excited to talk foundation with you later because there’s so many names. I’m going to have to do a deep dive into the Wiki Foundation. There’s zero. I’m, like, just grasping that book. Just barely grasping it. Okay, so Radius is the guy with all the poof in his hair. I assume you’re going ugly. What about Gandalf? Gandalf is he is unique, so I would say he’s I think he’s an attractive, unique person. Yeah. Plus he’s got that staff. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, he’s got that thing on.
Okay. Obviously, like, feeling killing the young guys are good, but yeah, I think I can kind of agree with you. But you can also look at all the 13 Dwarves and like, there’s three good looking ones, and the other ones are hideous. Right? Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense. It’s like, wait, what? There’s no like oh, and there’s Joey Crack. He’s just a normal looking, average dude. It also didn’t make a ton of sense to me that they went full facial prosthetics with, like, four dwarfs, and then the rest were like, we don’t want to make you guys up every day. You’re just people. You’re just going to be people. It’s kind of confusing. And they were the young ones, usually. So the young ones, as they get older, do they just grow giant noses? I don’t understand. But okay, yeah, we’re on the same page. My next stock up is having a well stocked pantry. I’ve paused that scene when they’re in Bilbo’s house and they go straight into his pantry. Larder. Because holy smokes. It’s like a room devoted to delicious food. He had, like, herbs and garlic hanging from the ceiling. He’s got pork belly just sitting out there drying, plus all the other stuff. It’s like, holy smokes. So as someone who likes to eat and I have my own pantry, half the reason I bought my house was because it had a pantry. Granted, it’s a small one, but I was like, yes, I need a well stocked pantry in my life. And I was talking to a friend the other day, he was trying to make chop suey, and he was like, oh, I can’t make it. Shoot. I don’t have any tomatoes. He’s like, Buddy, you don’t have a can of tomatoes? You don’t keep a well stocked pantry? Are you kidding me? Have you heard of Costco? Like, you go there and you buy them and then say pantry one more time. Pantry. I actually do. I wish I had a pantry. I don’t have one. Oh, my God. It’s just something special. So, yeah, I just want to throw a professor bilbo because Hobbits in general, they appreciate the culinary arts. And unfortunately, those terrible dwarves who I will not forgive went in there and ransacked his joint and left it all a mess. I don’t stand for that, and I hope no one else does. You don’t do that to a friend or even a burglar. This might be a confessional. You’ll be the priest amen. And not the priest you’re thinking of. Okay? I used to do that when I was in middle school, high school. I’d go over to a friend’s houses, and if they had a well stocked pantry, I’m going to town on it. That’s just what I did. It was more of a cupboard than a pantry. But his mom, what’s the difference? A cupboard, I feel like, is like you open two doors kind of thing. You open it up and it’s smaller. You know what I mean? A pantry is like a room, almost like a very small room. But in his cupboard, they always had either, like, the Shark Bites, the Ludy Tune, fruit Snacks, or whatever the case was. Well, you know, I ranked the Fruit Snacks, and, you know, Shark Bites was number one. Buddybuckland.com. Got you. It was a blog. But we would just rent. He’d just come back from what she called the market, and we would just eat all the fruit snacks that you have friends over, and she would be so mad. Yeah, because it’s like, that’s the whole point of getting that’s what I said, too. I was like, hey, why can you be mad at us? That’s the point. But she’s like, you’re talking to an adult. Mom, listen, this is Joan. Yeah. Why would you be quite mad about this. Listen, Lee, as I got a face full of shark bites, like, what’s your problem? There’s nothing wrong with that. You pick up more. Yeah. You only bought three boxes. That’s on you. That’s true. That’s a good point. If you’re at Costco, go pick it up. Costco hit us up for sponsorship. Did you have any other stock ups or were going straight to stock down? No, I got a stock down that’s very on par with what you just mentioned. Okay, stock down. I hope it’s not shark bites. Stock down. Symbolic food thing right in the lane that you’re just talking about. Usually what a character eats really is important. Like if they’re going to show it, that tells you a lot about them. You kind of determine, based off of what they’re eating, what the person they are. Okay, we see Bilbo in the first scene preparing a fresh salmon and vegetables, and then he’s squeezing lemon on it. Respect. This is not the Bilbo Baggins I know. Why? This is. Absolutely not. No, the Bilbo Baggins I know is making a big stew for himself. Maybe a pot pie, maybe a lasagna. He’s not eating healthy, he’s eating unhealthy. He literally should be the spokesperson for chunky soup. What are you talking about? Where do you get that? Can we read different people? He would eat two meals. He had everything. A meal. Had some sort of croissant or dinner roll with it. What are they doing making him this D man, metrosexual type character? We’re doing a man’s man here. This is a guy that enjoys his supper. He calls it supper. You can’t call it supper and then eat a salmon. I call it supper and I eat salmon all the time. Yeah, I don’t trust you. But the point is that he eats multiple meals. It’s not that he eats like a slob. He enjoys a nice I will read the book again. I can’t believe you’re against me. This is really one of my strongest takes. I can’t believe you’re against me on this. I’m pretty upset, honestly. Honestly, I don’t even understand the take salmon. You really thought he was just like, I really want to go back home, puff on my cigar and eat a nice salmon? No, this is a man that eats stew all day, every day, and he eats multiple meals of it. Well, what are we doing here? Honestly? The hobbits smoke pipes, they smoke pipe weed. Little long bottom leaf. Perhaps some old Toby heard of it? Sticky icky, put it in the air. But they don’t have cigars and they eat all sorts of delicious food. They’re connoisseurs of food. They don’t make fucking boring stew. Campbell’s chunky soup, like 4000 soup going to insult me. I love stew, but I’m just saying. I’m sure Bilbo eats stew, but he also can enjoy some vegetables and salmon just like anyone else. How dare you? Strong disagree. And the bilbo I know nothing about. His character said, I eat fish and vegetables. It’s just the opposite of enjoying yourself on Weight Watchers and I’m caring about the next fucking magazine of Vogue or whatever. I just don’t respect him. Nothing about Beaufort’s character says that he’s fish and vegetables. Like, that guy doesn’t even eat bacon. He just eats the grease off the pan. But you probably don’t even know who Beaufort is because Beaufort is the one fat dude in it that they made one joke about. Other than that he had nothing in the whole movie. Yeah. Actually, the best part of Beaufort is when they’re doing the dishes, he just cleans all the plates. Like, they pass it to him. He eats all whatever’s left and they go to the other guy. Great stock down nostalgia. And I’m always down to wax repsonic about great moments from the past. But the first bit of this movie you were kind of talking about it earlier when you said there are characters that were in other movies that are just like, in there for some reason. But the first bit of this movie, when it’s bilbo, like old bilbo and Frodo kind of before Gandalf comes for his birthday party, why is that in there? And trust me, I’m the biggest. I’m not going to be extreme. I’m a very big Lord of the Rings fan. I’ve seen the movies, each of them ten times. Who knows? But it was nice to see those characters again. Don’t get me wrong, but they were useless for this story. This story needed to live completely on its own. And it’s not like it was a quick scene. It was like went on for like 1015 minutes. It’s like, what? What’s happening here? And then it’s also ten minutes. Yeah, yeah. And then don’t wrap it up. No, it’s like, yeah, wrap it up. Wrap it up here. I mean, like, at the end, they don’t go back to that guy. Also, this is like part one of a three parter. Yeah, but it should be its own movie. It should live on its own. It shouldn’t have to be like, all right, now check out the movie in two years from now. Yeah. It just didn’t make sense to have 1015 minutes of what was Lord of the Rings. I feel like they just added it in. But why added it into a movie that’s already 2 hours and 40 minutes long? Right. We know as Lord of the Rings fans, it’s just, who’s watching this? And just like everyone in general, Hobbit readers and just the world, we don’t need that story. It didn’t help with the Hobbit story. It just made this longer. We’re on the same page here. Considering we’re so far off in the last one. We’re completely on the same page here because my next stock down was pandering. That’s what it is. Which is pandering. Yeah. And I don’t really understand. Has anyone ever been like, oh, I’m so happy they brought X character back into here. And it’s like, no, there’s no movie series or anything that we’re like a character that gets forced back into the plot. Like, people are happy about it. We’re always like, yeah, why don’t we just make a new story? I actually enjoy a throwaway line here there that pays homage to the previous one because they even say that in The Lord of the Rings, they talk about or Sauerman says, they’re talking about Gandalf. He said your love of the Hobbit leaf is, like, getting to your head or something like that, which is, like, kind of stonerish and funny. And then he says the same thing about radigas, but he’s been eating too many mushrooms. That was enjoyable as kind of a callback, but having full scenes. And I know Gandalf is involved in this story, so, yes, we need Gandalf in there, but pulling random characters. And it gets worse throughout the story. Like, legal loss comes back in. And I have a huge Legolas fan. He’s in the second one. I mean, the whole Eldron scene, and maybe I just didn’t follow the story. Elron. Elron Hubbard, whatever his name is. The whole Elron scene, it didn’t make any sense. Could you explain what even happened there? Okay, what are they talking about? The people? I’m bringing these people in. Kate Blanchette, like, doing mine signals to something. I’m like, who are these people? What’s going on? Yeah. Okay. So this scene I actually enjoyed from this and for zoom out a bit, this movie, The Hobbit, was supposed to be made into two movies. Guillermo del Toro was going to be the director and he had this more fairy tale esque vibe to it, which actually seemed pretty interesting. Guillermo del Toro’s fantasy stuff is really good. So he was supposed to do it have more of a fairy tale vibe. It’s supposed to be two movies. This is one of those movies that you could probably look into as, like, a study of how Hollywood works because different people owned rights to different things, like The Hobbit books, but then someone owned the rights to making it a movie. So the two studios combined, it was, like, kind of crazy. But they only had access to The Hobbit book and The Lord of the Ring book. They didn’t have access to any of the other works of Jr. Tolkien. So they probably should have just made the book, had enough information just to make the book. But because they want to extend it into two. And then when Peter Jackson ended up taking over, they turned it into three. They had a lot of space to fill. And in Return of the King, there’s, like, an appendices which has, like, a ton of information in it. And in there was this white council, which is what you were talking about. And in the book, Gandalf says, I got to go. And basically goes to this White Council and you don’t see it. And so they basically filled us in on what was happening, which was all the talk about the Necromancer. Who the necromancer. Turns out, is Sauron. The guy that’s sitting on the council? No, that’s Saruman. But here’s the thing. They’re setting up a meeting for something that doesn’t even happen in this movie series. It does, because basically they say no in the hobbit. It doesn’t happen in the book. It happens in the movies, though. Oh, okay. So they tie it together. But, like, each movie should compass its own self. That’s exactly what they did with all the Star Wars stuff. It’s like, no Star Wars. They didn’t even know Luke’s dad would be Darth Vader until the second movie when he wrote it in. I’m talking about movie. Once they start getting outside of that, the Han Solo movie, it’s like just a throwaway line in one of the original I stole the Millennium Falcon off. You had a gambling thing. But that’s my whole point. That’s panned, right? Like, people did not like that at all. Make the movie its own entity and then throw in throwaway stuff when you can, but don’t make it’s not like, well, we have to put this guy in. So therefore, we’ll just make a scene that isn’t tied to this movie in any way. It doesn’t even matter. We’re trying to pull the whole sour on storyline into this. I agree with you in that it doesn’t make any sense for this story, but for me, as a Lord of the Rings fan, this is canon pandering, sir. It’s pandering. Do you like when politicians pretend that their sports fans a team? No, it’s the same thing. This is exactly the same thing. I don’t it’s like, this will be for them. They’ll be happy about this. That’s you demon my other my last duck down is changing directors last minute on a 200 million dollar movie. Your suck downs are and ups are way more literal than actual actually tied to the movie. Mine are just like, I don’t like food. Peter Jackson said it was impossible. And as a result of it being impossible, I just started shooting the movie with most of it not prepared at all. Jesus Christ. That actually is the thing that makes the most sense with this movie. That makes a ton of sense. It’s like when Gamer Del Toro stopped, the script wasn’t done, and then Peter Jackson came in like, all right, we started shooting in two months. And he’s like, Wait, what? So they’re playing catch up, this whole movie. It shows in the way that he did Lord of the Rings because he had, like, three years of pre production in total for The Lord of the Ring stuff. And in general, they just shot everything and then they spent, like, three years editing the movie. I feel like he kind of did the same thing here. Whatever. Let’s just shoot it and we’ll figure it out later. And because of that, he had so much stuff that he was like, all right, yeah, we can add this in. And although he decided to make it into three movies, he said it wasn’t financially driven. But that seems hard to believe. If it’s two movies, even if they’re two and a half hours long, you have 5 hours to film. But now you got three movies. It’s seven and a half hours, whatever the case is. So you can just pick everything up off the cutting room floor and start pasting it in there, copy and paste. So that kind of shows, and I didn’t like it. So if you’re going to have a 200 million dollar movie, don’t just change directors last minute. Did you have a favorite scene in this, like the White Council that you really liked? The troll fire scene. And I liked the troll fire scene. Oh, got you. And I did like the main action scene inside the mountain there. That was mine too. Escape from the goblins. This is what the movie should be. If they just cut down the movie and literally took those two scenes and then made the rest of the movie into one movie, it would have been good. Yeah. Instead, they added 2 hours of fluff and then 30 minutes of good material. And that’s the type of silliness I’m for. When they’re on a bridge and they cut ropes and it falls down a ledge and they’re, like, killing people. Like Indiana Jones. Exactly. It’s like, obviously not believable. That would never happen. Totally okay with that. I hate people when you’re watching a movie and they’re like, that would never happen. Well, sure, if we’re watching, I don’t know, some sort of real serious movie watching Schindler’s List, someone’s like, yeah, that would never happen. It’s like, shit, I don’t know. It wasn’t there. But with this, it’s supposed to be playful. It’s supposed to be fun. Yeah, I’m fine with that level of silliness. And it was enjoyable, that whole thing. It felt really like a ride. You were on board. It was super fun. And also, the Goblins look phenomenal. Goblins and ORC technically are the same thing in Tolkien’s mind. They’re just slightly different. But these Goblins are definitely different than the orcs visually. And they look really good. The Goblin king, I thought, was perfectly disgusting. And Goblinny. It was awesome. So I’m here for it. All right. Would you love about this here? The hobbit by Peter Jackson. I think they did a good job actually connecting some of the dots a bit more in terms of how they got to a certain place in the book, which is fine. They kind of stumble on because it’s not supposed to be some, like, guided thing. That all makes sense. But in a movie uphill, you kind of have to tie things together a bit more. For instance, the. Hobbit just is like and then I just stumbled down a path. And then there was Gollum, where they show like, okay, he dropped down this thing because he was trying to escape. There’s, like, more dot connecting. Although he falls, like, 80ft and survives. That didn’t really he’s sprocket. I got it. I’m cool with it. Yeah, they were just kind of blindly stumbling along. I got you. And I thought the troll scene, like I already mentioned, I thought it was funny. That was, like an actual fun not funny but fun scene. And that came to life much more than I remembered in the book. So I thought that was really good too. Are they goblins? I don’t know goblins. The trolls. Like, Ed. Ed and Eddie or Gabriel. Ted and John. I liked that scene as well. They did change it a bit. Which I actually thought was okay because in the book, it’s Gandalf that delays the trolls. He’s, like, chatting with the trolls and then the sun comes up and in the movie, it’s Bilbo that does it. So I think that works on two levels. One, it’s Bilbo talking about how to cook these dwarfs which ties in with Bilbo being a connoisseur of food and loving a good roast salmon. Two, it starts to show that Bilbo’s worthiness to this group, to this fellowship. So I like that change. I was okay with it. Gandalf’s playing the stone. Do it, Gandalf. Get crazy. Like I said, I loved the goblin stuff. The look of the goblins. Big fan of that. I love the Misty Mountain song. What do you think about that song? The one by Ed Sheeran? No, that’s a different song that I don’t think maybe they played in the end credits. That’s a great song too. No, the one that all the dwarves say together the winds were roaring. That one? Yeah. I mean, I could take it away, but I honestly thought the music in this was not good. You had mentioned our last movie, that the music was great. And I agreed this one the music at the beginning especially, it was almost like a silent movie that they were playing so much music on just interactions and looks. And I was like, what is going on here? What’s up with this? Why is there so much? I’ve never noticed music. Usually if the music is good, you don’t notice it. It just provides atmosphere. This was, like, in your face. Yeah. What else do you love? You agree with that? I do. I was thinking about it. I don’t really know. You know what I mean? If you didn’t recall, whatever. But you already mentioned but I like the expansiveness and the vastness of everything that really showed well in the movie. You already mentioned the budget they threw at it. The idea is these guys are traveling 1000 miles or however long across this world to have to go to Airborne. So if you don’t have those scenes in there where it shows the expansiveness of this land, then otherwise it’s just a bunch of scenes and you don’t realize how close or how far they are or even just the general vastness of the land. So, yeah, I agree with you there. Well, yeah, to that point, I think I told you I’d watched the first 20 minutes and zobia and turned it off. Which the first three minutes, though, were like the narration where they’re like, here’s the back story. I was ready to go. I was like, why did they ever turn this movie off? I was like, this is fucking sick. Unfortunately, the next 17 minutes, I was like, oh, yeah, now I get it. So that was my next and last love, was Exposition, Basil Exposition, because in Lord of the Rings, it’s fire. I’ve never been more ready, especially when you watch all the Lord of the Rings in one day in the extended edition, which I have done on several occasions. And it’s going to be like a twelve hour day of watching Lord of the Rings. I’m never more fired up than after the first five minutes when they’re talking about the battle with Sauron. That really gets me going. And so they called it back for this, but doing a different thing, which is basically the opulence of Arabore and then smug coming and fucking shit up. Loved it. I was all in. And then after that, I was confused. And Lord of the Rings is also slow because it just falls into bilbo’s party. But you know, some cool shit’s coming, unfortunately, with this, it kind of never came until you got to like the goblin kingdom. What do you hate? I like the beginning part. And then we get ten minutes with Frodo, which served zero purpose of the story other than to call him back, and pander. And then we followed up by and I kind I literally looked at the minutes because I was watching on Amazon, 30 minutes. So the first 40 minutes of the movie were just them sitting in the house. It’s an adventure movie. Why are we having 30 minutes in a hut? This is an expansive world. That’s the whole point of the book. I’m going on an adventure. Yeah, the book you get why they do that is because you’re establishing characters. No one knows what this is. It’s the first time you’ve ever met any of these characters. The whole point of the Hobbit in the movie version is you can actually see the characters. You don’t need to establish them. And B, we already this backstory Lord of the Rings. That’s why you bring in all this pandering stuff, because we already know all this stuff. You don’t need to sit them down for 30 minutes and be like, so this is the world we’re in, and here are the people. And this is what we know. Just literally, they should have been maybe a minute of them barging to his house, and then they pick him up, put on a horse, and then the story starts and they’re telling them what they need to do when they’re on the adventure. Then you build background of the characters through that, not through sitting down. And this isn’t fucking Glenn Gary glenn Ross or like, fucking reservoirs. Do you watch Glenn Gary Glen Ross or something? No, I have. I did. I started watching Reservoir Dogs. It’s not Reservoir Dogs. You’re not sitting in a room talking one on one. Quinn Tarantino is not writing this. Exactly. They thought they had that quintin writing. This is the most boring shit ever. They should have got Tarantino for, like, an uncredited writer and just had him do his diners, his version of a diner or seen in Bilbo’s House. It would have been awesome. I would have loved to see it. I would have been worth watching, but I would 100% turn it off after 20 minutes. Again, had we not been watching it for this, by the way. No chance. I was sticking with it. My first hate is that I’m not sure who this movie is for, age wise, because The Hobbit is a kids book and it’s supposed to be obviously there’s some dark moments in it, and it seems like that’s where they were going with this, because I personally when did it jump the shark for you? Was when Frodo appeared and they just stayed on him for ten minutes. And I’m like, when does this movie start? Like, what’s going on here? That’s when it jumped the shark. See, it jumped the shark for me when they did the cleaning the dishes scene, like wash the dishes, rub the knives, and they’re like, throwing dishes everywhere. I was like, this is so dumb. I was like, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. And I said, oh, wait, Dylan, hold on a second. Take a minute. This is a kids movie. This is for kids. You’re not the target audience. I watched A Monster Squad recently, which is a great kids movie. Similar is to The Goonies, except there’s like Dracula and Frankenstein in it, and there’s a lot of cheesiness in there, too. And I was able to say, you know what? This is a kids movie. I get it. But then literally five minutes after that ridiculous scene of him tossing plates back and forth, it’s the flashback to Azog the Great, the defyler excuse me. Cutting a guy’s head off and holding his head aloft for the world to see. I was like, okay, hold on. Who is this movie for? Because no children should be seeing this guy chop a guy’s head off and scream at the top of his lungs as he holds his dangle. It was like we went from like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to Braveheart in 2 seconds. I was blown away. So, yeah, I wasn’t really sure who the target audience was, and that’s going to be a hate for me. That’s spot on. I didn’t think did you have any hate? Yeah, I mean, the other ones I already kind of covered. I didn’t understand who that tree mushroom hippie dude was. I still don’t know. I think you explained it, but Radagascar or what’s? That Radish radatui what’s his name? Madagascar. And Raditui. Radiga the brown. Okay. Thorin. He literally was in a different movie. I don’t know if he knew. I think they showed him the movie. He’s like, Wait, this is a Kiss movie. After he’s like, I was playing this. He’s playing I think in his mind, he is playing who’s? The badass in Lord of the Rings. The guy with the sword. Aragon? Yeah. He thinks he’s Aragorn in this movie. In this movie. He’s not that he read the wrong person. I think. Aragorn, son of Erthorne. Yeah. Got you. And then lastly, again, this might have been from Lord of the Rings, but who is Kate Blatchett and does she have mind control power? She is what happened with that high elf. She is collateral. I love him. She’s a ring bearer. She’s actually the focus of the Lord of the Rings TV show that just came out on Amazon. She has the ability to talk to people. She’s forcing Gandalf to do stuff, or no, because Gandalf like, put the map out and was like, what did I just do? And I’m like, Wait, so Gandalf is a huge bitch and just like Kate Blanchard just run his mind? Yeah. I don’t know exactly what her powers are or whether or not I mean, I think a lot of that is probably just decisions by Peter Jackson. I think it worked well in Lord of the Rings because I think it was more of just, like, her talking with people into their heads, but there wasn’t any sort of able to move them. I don’t know. There are two telekinetic powers and I’m not sure the difference, but we’re telekinetic being able to move it and telepathy is I don’t know, whatever. This movie would make literally zero sense if you didn’t watch Lord of the Rings. Right? You’d just be like, what is happening right now? You’d have no idea what’s going on for, like, half this movie. I think Galadriel is, like, one of the best characters in Lord of the Rings for her screen time. She’s only on it for a couple of minutes and she’s like, beautiful, majestic, all those things. I appreciated her reprise here, but I know what you’re saying. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense for those that aren’t well adjusted to it. The only other thing I had for Hate was that the movie is too long. The movie is more bloated than that. Goblin kings goiter. By the end of the movie, we’re at page 190 of a 300 page book. How is it possible this is almost 3 hours long, three hour long movie. And we’re only 190 pages into the book. It’s unfortunate. And as a Lord of the Rings fan, it makes me upset because, wow, they could have I love The Lord of the Ring extended versions. That’s what I picture as the regular book. And that is a little fat. And I’m okay with it because there’s not a lot of stupid stuff. It’s more just interesting things for Tolkien fans. This just seems like a lot of stupid stuff that was just thrown in there and I don’t know why we’ve talked about that a lot. We’ve bloated this podcast with talking about how bloated this movie is. So I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Some quick studio notes. This is 64 and round tomatoes. 83. Audience score. Like I said, Gabriel De Torres was a direct hit. Him and Jackson had previously planned to make a Halo movie together, which is how they kind of got together and eventually started making The Hobbit. It’s sad that didn’t happen. This movie, The Hobbit, had a 200 million dollar budget similar for the other two movies. Lord of the Rings were each $100 million each. This movie, The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey, made 300 million US and Canada, and 1 billion worldwide. So five to one return on investment. Not too bad. Not too bad. It doesn’t matter how good or bad the movie is. We’re in like recast, rewrite and review here. Easy to say, but we obviously both, I think, do book 100% over a movie if we were to recommend one of them. Yeah, I think that’s clear. One thing I did kind of like is they made the Arkanstone like the thing before. It was just kind of like in the book. It was just like the board. I like that, too. So in this they’re like, no, we’re going for the Arkanstone. Yeah, they want everything else. But the Arkanstone is the difference maker. That’s what’s going to make Thor and Kate by having the Arkansase. So I like that. And one thing, too, that I think most books and movie variations, we’re going to point to the fact that they didn’t stick to what the book did, and that makes it worse. In this instance, they stuck too much to the book. In the summer instances, I already mentioned the first scene where they’re just in the house. That’s like word for word and it’s 40 minutes and I’m in the house. And it’s like, this is every single part of the books in this. You didn’t need to do that. The other part was the Golem interaction. I thought that was cool in the book, but I was like, oh, they’ll definitely change that to make it more one relevant. And you already mentioned if it’s a kid’s movie, you’re telling these like, advanced riddles. They cut down on the advanced riddles. Well, they still did three or four, right? They did like three. I also couldn’t understand what Gollum was saying as an answer, so I kept them. Like, what? I think he said teeth in one of them, but I had no idea. 32 white horses. Yeah. And I was like, Teeth, I think he’s saying, because he said I only have nine of them. They could have made that scene better. I mean, there’s a lot of stuff where they just stuck with the book. And when they did that, it’s in the book for a reason. You need to draw it out and make it real. Whereas a movie, you don’t need to do that as much. But they still did it. Yeah. It needs some editing down, clearly. Our top reviewer, though, comes from Richard Probes from Theindependentcritic.com, who starts his review with, and I quote, as nearly any woman will tell you, size does matter, but there is such a thing as too big and too long. That’s how he starts his review. I can’t believe I dug this up. Can we get this guy in a pod? All right. I like this guy a lot. Size does matter, but there is such a thing as too big and too long. By the way, is the most insane thing ever is that this movie would qualify for my rotten tomato variants. No, I don’t think that’s crazy. I’m surprised. I think the audience anyone’s going on and reading this on rot tomatoes is probably a fan. You think they got through 20 minutes, so they’re like, all right. And I will defend the movie in that. The second half is better than the first half. It’s 2 hours and 40 minutes. That’s saying an hour and 20 is garbage. Yeah. Yeah. Not garbage, necessarily, but just not great. And the second half, though, once they enter the goblin kingdom and that becomes under the Misty Mountains, that becomes the story. It’s pretty good from there on out, in my opinion. So maybe watch the troll scene skip until they get to the goblin stuff, and then and then you’re good. So, what did you rate it? What did you rate it? How many stars we got? Would you recommend it? Is it for diehard fans or stoners? Who’s it for? I don’t know who it’s for. It’s kids that smoke weed. Amazing. I don’t know. I gave it a one star. It would have been a 0.5 to zero range had the second half not saved it. But even with the savior of the end, the ending itself just abruptly ending and the Dumb and Dumber scene, all those things just reminded me that drove home. I was like, oh, yeah, the beginning half of this movie did suck. I forgot about that. Was like the stamp of it being like, no, remember, this movie does suck. So one star from me. What about you? It starts off so shitty that gets not better. Okay. And if it finished good, you would be like, that’s actually decent. But then they brought it all back down. Yeah, that was nice about yeah, I gave it a two star. I mean, I’m wow. Okay. Trust me, I was with you. This is like a one star minus movie up until the Goblin scene. But after that, I enjoyed it. And the ending wasn’t good, but I’m just a huge Tolkien fan. I would love for them to make are you going to watch the second and third right now? I started the second season, and I realized I hate it so much.
Yeah. I mean, if it were a two star movie, I’d probably potentially give the second and third a try, but, yeah, a one star, you don’t give a sequel try. So that’s, I guess, the difference. So, yeah, that’s the Hobbit. Unexpected journey. We will not be jumping into the next two. We’re just going to leave it there. We got our next book coming up. Foundation. It should be a doozy. It’s a sci-fi classic. Wait for the foundation coming up within the next couple of weeks. And like I said, that was hobbit. An Unexpected Journey Keith, great talking to you, brother. Bye bye, now.
