Holes by Louis Sachar – Episode 1
The inaugural episode covers Holes by Louis Sachar. The buddies discuss Stanley Yelnats parents, erroneous math(s), onion nutritional facts, shoe size discrepancies and reading between the lines when it comes to “pigs”.
Transcript for SEO Purposes 🙂
Welcome to the first installment of Buddy Book Club. A big thank you to our buddies. Paste Card Joe for that intro music. I’m Dylan and joined today by my good buddy, the bastion of Biblio kidney. Happy New Year, buddy. Happy New Year, indeed. 2021 indeed, indeed, as the name of this podcast implies, we’re here to discuss books. Probably not going to be your typical stuffy book club. I’ve never been in a book club or never been asked to. Not that popular. We’re not going to really be going into super into themes and motifs and symbolism, systematically dissect them over T and finger sandwiches. This isn’t high school English Class 2.0. I think we’re going to go for more of a free form stream of consciousness. Let’s have a laugh and talk books kind of. But don’t worry, Keith, I will be enjoying tea and finger sandwiches. Although with this book, I guess we haven’t broken down the book yet. The book we’re going into, I’m sure the title will give that away spoiler. Come on. Yeah, I think we should have cocktails. I really do. There’s always going to be an element of food and drink in each book we read, and I love food and drink. I’m a glutton for it. So with this book being holes, the main things are peaches and onions, so I guess you could have a Gibson, which is like a pearled onion Martini or some peach snaps type drinks, maybe a peach Mojito. Oh, that sounds delightful. Good buddies in the listener verse hit the pause button. Crack open that globe bar. Hopefully you’re listening to it’s Monday morning 08:00 a.m. And so obviously you’re going to crack it open now that’s the perfect time for it. Yeah. Why not? I mean, it’s the first day back to work after a long break. So you might as well. All right. We’re going to probably be mixing up genres. I think the goal here for us is probably sticking within the young adult section of the library. That’s pretty much our reading level. But as I spoiled before in this first installment, we are going to be reading Holes, and I’m sure everyone knows Holes, or at least has heard of it. If not the book, then maybe the movie starring Shia LaBeouf. Why are we reading Holskeep? Well, yeah, this is probably one of the first books I read I was able to complete when I was probably like 8th or 9th grade. That’s basically my reading level just to give people a level of where I’m at the first book you read. And it was when you were this in like Harry Potter. We’re probably the first two books I was able to complete as a young adult, as the genre implies. Got you. So I actually listened to books now, since I’m such a poor reader. So just a heads up there. But yeah, the third time reading this book, actually, and I enjoyed it just as much. And I like that too, because you’re primarily going to be listening to these books. I will be reading them in the classic form, so I’ll be going analog when you go digital. My initial concern with you listening to them is I feel like the narrator affects your feelings towards the book. Yeah, 100%, but hopefully you’re uninfluenced. Although this is the third time reading it. Do you know who reads the audiobook? Can you give us a little background on that? No idea. I can barely remember the authors or the name of the book once I get done with them. So, yeah, that’s not going to happen. All right, well, then let’s test this one. Who’s the author of this book? I wrote this down. Lewis Sachar
Participant #1:
Sakario. I don’t know. Maybe it’s nature. Hey, I was thinking about sending him an email saying, hey, you want to join our podcast? I didn’t think that would go up very well when he said, yeah. I mean, people listen to it, but you know what? Or he would have thought that you were like, 8th grader. You know what I mean? I actually looked up a bunch of holes, like book club reviews and things like that just to see what other people were saying out there. And it was every single video was someone that was like, ten years old being like, this is what I thought about it. And I was like, sounds about right. All right. Well, we’re going to give a different perspective. I think it would be a slightly different. So hopefully someone like, stumbles upon us that is like a ten year old and listens to ours and is very hopefully not because I do not want the lawsuit. Yeah, that’s probably true. Don’t have cash for that. So you probably don’t hold. We kind of discussed why we’re going to read this. And for me, I read a decent amount of books, and this was one that I really knew nothing about. I know everyone had kind of read it in middle school and definitely seen the movie. If not before this. I had either seen the movie or read the book and figured this was a good way for us to start it off. I know you said this is your third time reading it, but do you remember any of your preconceived notions or because it had been so long since the last time you had read it? Did your feelings about this book change before? Obviously, the older you get, the more you understand, but I still remember loving it. And I’m going to go into this little bit later. But my favorite part is everything connected. There didn’t seem to be a wasted word or story that was kind of a red herring. Or I think a lot of books, especially adult books you read. It seems like they just kind of give you, like, everyday life, and it has nothing to do with anything or at least in my opinion, it doesn’t. It just doesn’t help the story move forward where every single piece of this book had something to do with the actual story. Okay, I’m going to disagree with you. You’re wrong. But we’ll get into those. Okay? All right. My only problem with preconceived notions of this book for me was that I kept seeing Shiloh Buff as Stanley. That’s why you can’t watch the movie first. I have a different picture in my head already. Exactly. And that’s kind of my point. That’s the problem. Always seeing the movie before reading the books out some of that imagination factor. It makes me sad to think that most kids are picturing Michael Gambin as Dumbledore when they’re reading Harry Potter because they’ve seen the movies. But although thinking of Emma Watson as her mind, it ain’t too bad. Which you got to preface that with, like after the 6th movie, right? Because otherwise it’s a little bit questionable. Yeah, well, I’d say maybe fourth book when she walks down the stairs, but whatever. Can we get an age check on that? It’s our editor here. Make sure we’ll overlap that with the audio. You say fourth, it’s like 6th change. So don’t worry about that. She shaved her teeth down for that specific scene. Not in real life. We’re getting into Harry Potter all day. Yeah, I won’t bring up Harry Potter again. Let’s get into holes. I’m going to go through a quick little summary just so that we’re kind of on the same page. And for listeners out there who maybe haven’t read the book in a while or haven’t read the book at all, this will catch you up. So Holds is broken up into two parts. Let’s get things kicked off with breaking down. Part one, where we meet the yellow it’s yelling at is the backwards of Stanley, who’s the main character. I personally think that is some laziness in writing that he just took the first name and flipped it around. But they’re overall down on their luck family. So for Stanley the fourth, who is our main character, he finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time when some game worn Icharo Suzuki cleats might as well be with a gun speed. He gets hit in the head with these cleats while walking down the street. And somehow the cops are immediately upon him and they charge him with theft. Stanley’s parents can’t afford a lawyer because his dad’s going for the next Charles Goodyear and spends all his time and money trying to find an application for use. Goodyear’s first name. Charles. You just make that up because either way, I like it. No, it is Charles Good. It’s actually another great podcast on that. We’ll talk about that on different times. He’s trying to find a new application for you sneakers. I appreciate the recycling vibe, but you’re not making a big recycling gold stickers. Let’s be serious anyway, the judge throws the book at Stanley after the actual character is Clive Sweet feet, Livingston gives a tearfilled testimony on the stand. I don’t know why he’s there. It doesn’t make any sense, but you throw that out. Don’t worry about that part, all right? But in the end, Stanley gets 18 months of hard labor at Camp Green Lake. I’m not sure if I know this book is set in the United States, but it feels more like Soviet Russia to me because he gets sent to the gulag. No. Do you think the punishment matches the crime for that particular theft? Well, he’s stealing the shoes from a homeless shelter, right? Basically, he’s stealing from a charity. So I think you do punish that a little bit harder. I respect it. You respect the 18 months hard labor. Yeah. And like, a famous celebrity makes a case out of you. You’re doing that? They’re in the Media’s eyes, the judge, the DA. Everyone is going to go after your heart if someone’s making a big story out of it. Okay, that’s fair. I did have one gripe with the section. Why can his parents not afford a lawyer? I understand that times are tough in the yelling household because his dad’s spending all his money recycling shoes. But take a second mortgage out on your house. There’s like a line in the book where his mom’s like, yeah, we can’t afford a lawyer. Just tell the truth and you’ll be fine. Stanley, what has she never watched any TV courtroom drama? The truth is not part of the American Justice system as we know it his mom’s days like, yeah, you’ll be good. It doesn’t matter that we’re in possession of these shoes. No big deal. They’ll let you off. Just tell the truth, honey. Also, they appoint you a lawyer, right? Yeah. So he gets a court appointed lawyer, I’m sure. Yeah, but that person was worse than a trademark lawyer. That doesn’t make sense to me. I’ll give you that one because at the end, trademark lawyer comes in and is like, oh, yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll get there. Either way, Stanley gets 18 months of hard labor at Camp Green Lake. So when Stanley arrives at Camp Green Lake, which sounds quite nice. It’s no Camp Hope heavyweights. Although Stanley is a very Husky boy. There’s no blob. There’s no gokart racing. There’s not even a Lake. It’s just a pockmarked desert wasteland. It wasn’t always this way, though, Keith. And for our inaugural trip to history class, Professor Keith gave us a little history on Green Lake. Okay. Green Lake summary here by professor McGonigal, a natural tidal Lake in Calhoun County of Texas, which I looked up, is between San Antonio and Houston, and the book made it sound like they’re in the middle of desert. And realistically, it’s like 15 miles away from the coast, so they literally could walk from the furthest Mark in Kalangi. So they’re in the middle of the middle of County County. The furthest Mark would be like 15 miles to the water. So that doesn’t make a lot of sense. But it used to be a sprawling town up until the Lake dried up, which essentially dried up because it’s operating because of a quote, unquote curse that occurred because of which I know you haven’t talked about yet, but Sam and kissing Cape Barlow. Incident. Wait, who is Sam and kissing Kate Barlow? Can we get a little? Well, I assume people have read the book. They’re not just like what is hold. So I don’t think we need to give them the full recap here. But then, as you mentioned, turn into a juvenile camp, which had said they’re the only source of water for the next 100 miles, which is a big theme here is that math is not a strong suit for the author, because as I mentioned, it’s 50 miles away from water. Maybe they’re talking about, like, non saltwater. I don’t know. Either way, I’m sure you could probably find that the one thing that is a bit odd is that there in the middle of this camp is a big mountain called basically God’s Thumb, which is basically the Garden of Eden. You just go there and there’s plenty full of water and onions growing there. But brings me to my next point about this is that Stanley’s grandfather got stranded there somehow, right from the kiss and Cape Barlow. So basically she robbed him, meaning that Stanley’s grandfather was in that town right before. He didn’t just end up all of a sudden there was later. Yeah. No. But since I was in the town right. Then she got kicked out. Then she came back, stole this dude’s money. Stanley’s grandfather. So basically Stanley’s grandfather is a racist in that town, right? That’s what happened, right? Stanley Yelwitz II was a racist. Yes. Because he was in that town and kick Kate Barlow out, right? No. This was later kissing Kate Barlow is in Green Lake, right? She’s a school teacher. She falls for Sam’s. The Onion Man walks around with his donkey and sells onions to people as elixirs and also food, which we appreciate. We love Sam play, but I know what Elixir means, but I don’t think our listeners do. Can you explain it to me? I know what it means. Definitely. It’s not like I’ve never heard that word. But go on. An elixir is like, I mean, you play video games, right? It’s like a tag potion. Yeah. Mana, like Mana. Okay. Wow. But kissing Kate Barlow, the schoolteacher falls for Sam the Onion Man. And then when they kiss, which is a hate crime, I guess, or a racial crime for Sam, they go to kill him and she becomes this is an origin story for Kissing Karla, which I’m waiting for the second movie where it’s kissing K Barlow origin story. And she becomes a badass outlaw and then goes on her spree. So Stanley Yelmez II is just walking around town or walking around with the area, and she steals from him. He had nothing to do with the town he was traveling through at some point later, after the Lake. That’s a likely story. I don’t believe it for a second. I don’t believe he was a racist. Okay, but either way, because of kissing Kate Barlow’s little curse there she put on the town after they killed Sam Rip. Sam who? I don’t know if you heard that. Played by Duly Hill in the movie phenomenal actor. I looked it up. Yeah. Crayon style, by the way. Great show. Yeah. Westwick. Because of that, the Lake dries up and everyone loses their money or their lives or has to move away. And then she becomes an outlaw and steals money from everyone that comes through, including Stanley Elmer II, a non racist. But we’ll fast forward to the present day. Allegedly. Yeah, we’ll fast forward to the present day. So Stanley obviously knows none of this. But there is some stories of his great great grandfather, which we’ll get into shortly. But in the present day, Stanley is put in this camp with his brothers and shovels all of who or whom. I don’t know who go by their prison nicknames. They’re maybe equal to, if not better than prison. Mike. We have Xray, the Four eyed Leader and his Cohorts squid Zero Armpit Zigzag Magnet. Eventually Twitch comes in, not South Park Twitch, but pretty good prison nicknames. Wouldn’t you say the streaming service, right? Yeah, just that streaming service. Of course. We also meet the Cos, which is Oz Talk for corrections officers. Mr. Pandanski, a pole. I’m sure Mrs. A particularly creative name. And the warden. Do we know what the warden’s name is? Does the warden have a name, or she’s just a warden. Just a warden? Yeah. Okay. Well, the boys spend their days digging holes for no apparent purpose, and their evenings shooting pool and shooting the shit in the Rec room. Each day is pretty much the same. Up before sunrise, back breaking labor, forming a shower, food bed. There’s only a few days in this where things go a little bit different. In one particular event, someone steals some of Mr. Sunflower seeds. He’s trying to quit the six, which I appreciate, but using the sunflowers as the oral fixation thing. So there actually was some. I thought it was going to be foreshadowing when they said that seven spotted lizards, which plagued the camp, along with other traditional insects and reptiles, Scorpions and snakes. But these seven spotted lizards are particularly dangerous because you die a painful death when they bite you. But they said they like sunflower seeds. So I was like, oh, Mr. Sir is totally going to get guy, but then he doesn’t. So I was like, oh, why did they say that? Can I jump in about the sunflower seeds real quick? Yeah. So here’s the general theme. I was getting from this book is a made up mass. I already alluded to it about the 15 miles. And I’m saying there’s only 100 miles closest water. Sure. So Sunflower Seeds. They said they stole a 20 pound bag of sunflower seeds. A demon. You’re a connoisseur of sunflower seeds. What’s the biggest bag you’ve ever seen? I think those David’s bags are maybe a pound. Yes, they are a pound. I looked it up. So you’re telling me there’s a bag? Not like a huge container. A box. It was a bag that’s £19 heavier than the biggest bag you’ve seen. Well, buying bulk. What if he goes to a Costco? You know how heavy 20 pound bag is? I’m picking that up. That’s like a 20 pound weight. Yeah, well, maybe he’s also trying to get fit as he’s also trying to quit the six. I know how stale those would get. That’s true. The biggest lie. All right. I also have another one that we talked about. Clyde Livingston. He said he had four triples in a game. Come on, son. The leading person right now, the current leading person with triple numbers is like, 81 or 82 total. There’s never been anyone that said four triples in a game. The percentage the highest percentage person hits a triple. This is all math I’ve looked at, by the way, 1.4% of the time they have in a bat, they hit a triple. That’s the highest percentage in the League right now. So they hit four triples. The chances of doing that, it’s like 000-3841. 6%. That’s what I call bullshit on that. But is it zero? No, it’s not zero. If you look it up to hit a cycle. Everyone just says the hardest thing to do is hit the triple. That’s the hardest part. And what I’ve heard, too, now is that a lot of contracts are based around doubles. Triples aren’t nearly taken to the same account because people think that’s just like a one time thing or it’s like a random event. It’s not necessarily like a good hit. So a lot of people will not try to stretch out a triple or double triple because they want to get the double. They’d rather be on second because it looks better. So it looks better to hit 40 doubles than it does to hit six triples and 34. Billy Bean. Yes, you like that exactly. Anyway, big lies going on. I had to call that out. So go on. Sorry, we’re not reading Moneyball. We’re reading holes. The thing is, the sunflower seeds. Come on. Speaking to Sunflower Seeds, someone stole that 20 pound pack. One of the kids for Mrs. And the sunflower Seeds end up in Stanley’s hole. Mr. Sir comes over, sees the sunflower seeds. Asked him, what the fuck? And Stanley, he’s not a prison rat. He’s not. So he takes the fall because that’s what a good guy does in prison. You’re not trying to get Shanked, so he takes the fall for it creates some issues. There another important day that happens. Stanley finds a Cape Barlow artifact, which we don’t know at the time, obviously. But as the story progresses, we realize it’s a lipstick container. They thought it was a shotgun shell. At first in the movie, it looks like a little dill Dizzle. You know what I’m saying? But he handed over to X ray, gives X Ray a chance to claim the prize, even though Stanley is bigger and stronger by this point. But he’s still a pussy. So that’s kind of one of the things here is Stanley’s pretty soft, even though he’s a big guy. They nicknamed him Caveman, and he’s wondering why they nicknamed him Caveman. I was like, oh, shoot. Yeah, I’m cool. So as I said at the top, Stanley blames his bad luck that got him into this whole camp situation on his no good, dirty rotten pig steel and great great grandfather, which has been his family story as to why things haven’t gone their way for the past century. So I think it’s important that we take a little quick break and get into a lot being storyline of love with Stanley’s great great grandfather, great great grandfather Elia and Myra. This sounds like a nice little early 1918 hundred story. Stanley’s great great grandfather Elia classic testosterone filled teenager thinks this Myra chick loves him, even though she doesn’t know who he is. Which is hilarious, really underscores hilarity in that. So, I mean, he goes to this witch and this lobbying witch who gives him a pig, and he has to bring the pig up the mountain every day, give it some mountain water. And then by the time that Elliott or Myers hand is going to be up for marriage, this pig will match the size of the pig of what’s the other guy’s name? Igor. Igor. Yeah. So it’ll match the size of the pig that Igor has. But Elliott, forgets to take it the last day. I don’t know what he was doing, doing his hair, trying to look pretty, so he doesn’t take it up and the pigs end up weighing the same. So Myra’s dad, this is great, right? Myra’s dad says, all right, pigs weigh the same. Myra, you pick which one you want to marry. It’s between Elia this now strapping because it’s been carrying a pig up a mountain for the past 100 days. This strapping young man of her age or Igor, who’s a 60 something year old, 50 something year old big farmer who’s fat and disgusting. And this girl looks at both of these people. She’s like, 17 years old. There’s a 60 year old man, like, just drooling looking at her and she decides to guess for it. She just says, I’m guessing a number between one and ten. Can I tell you the real story here? It’s funny how you don’t know how to read between the lines. And this is probably because I’ve been in a book club before, and I understand these things. So let me retell the story. And now let me know if you understand. Okay. Do a big game breakdown. Yeah. So Igor right. He already has a giant pig, right? What’s the other guy’s name? My sorry, he does not. So let’s rethink this kid. We got a 60 year old with a giant fucking hog, and then we have a normal kid that doesn’t have a giant hog. That is the story. One of them has a giant hog already. And that’s why she can’t decide which one she wants. Which are the fucking little squid? Or they got the giant hog. He didn’t have a pick. That’s the thing you don’t realize. Oh, so it’s an allegory for his penis? Yes, exactly. Even though Alia has hit puberty over the last 100 days, then his hog has grown. That’s an actual pig. That’s a different thing. Well, to go back to your math situation, how bad everyone is in math in this? She says, Give me a number between one and ten who’s ever closest gets my hand in marriage. And this fucking guy, Igor says, Ten, any other number? If it’s not ten, then Elia can say literally any other number. And he gets this girl who he wanted. He wasn’t talking the number. He’s talking about something else. He’s saying ten. He’s pointing. Yes. Well, I guess Elliot knows he can’t measure up because or he just realizes that this chick is dumber than the pig itself, which is actually probably an insult to pigs everywhere. So if there’s any pigs listening, I apologize. But he says, all right, peace, Myrap. I’m going to America. But there was one caveat. He had to take the witch Madame Zaroni up the mountain and let her drink the water. Right? That was the key for this whole thing. He needs to do that. And because he didn’t. Instead, he went to America. This is why Stanley’s family has been plagued with this bad luck. This is a very important factor and part of the fantasy of holes. But back to the boys. I’ve been meaning to ask you. We went through all those guys at camp who has the best nickname. Out of all, nicknames are kind of big in this book. I mean, Mr. Pandanski. He goes by mom. I’m sure Mr. Isn’t his name. I mean, even Clive Livingston is known as Sweet Feet because his feet smell so bad. So who out of all these people have the best nickname? I don’t know about that. It’s a good question. I like the sweet Feed one. To be honest with you, that’s the first one I liked right away because my boy James White, reading comprehension, pop quiz hotshot. Oh, Jeez. Here we go. Why is Zigzag called Zigzag? Is he cross eye? I don’t know. It’s just because he’s got, like, really frizzy hair. Okay. Is that in the movie? I don’t remember that. No, it’s in the book. They say he’s, like, got a giraffe neck and has, like, really blonde hair. Wow. Yeah. So I personally would either go with Zigzag because it seems like a cool nickname. Or magnet. Magnet was decent being called Xray because you wear glasses. Hard path. That’s a tough one. Yeah. And then everyone else. Caveman, I guess, isn’t too bad, but cavemen are dullards. So you don’t want to be known as a dollar. And zero is not really tough. That’s one of the worst you can get, especially because you’re a zero will come into this story, but in more vivid detail. So part one ends with the origin story of Kiss and Kate Barlow. So Besides, the things that we’ve gone through, are there any bones that you have to pick with part one or how did you feel about it that got you geared up to get into the second part. Here the math. And then the Igor Pig store are my two biggest takeaways of, like, trying to read between the lines a little bit there. That’s just you. You’re the only one that read between. I’m pretty sure everyone saw that. That’s the thing you don’t really understand themes. That’s your problem. Yeah. You’re too much of a literal guy. I see in between the lines. See in between the Cocks. All right. So for me, Besides the fact that Stanley miraculously happens to find the whole. But I guess we’re starting to deal with a little bit of a fate or coincidence situation. Serendipity, if you will. Great movie. Is that the one with Sarah Michelle Geller? No, it’s with really good looking Sarah Michelle Geller? No, she wears like a leather, like the vampire in that movie. Sarah Michelle Geller? No, she’s British. I’m trying to narrow this down. You know what I’m talking about? She dates all those younger guys right now. No. Kate. Kate Beckonsdale. Kate Beckonsdale. Yes. She’s something special. Great movie. Yeah. Okay. I haven’t seen it, but maybe I’ll check that one out. Serendipity, is it’s a Rom minus the comp? There’s a zero come in. It. So, yeah, it’s just a rom. Not really. My
Participant #1:
guess. We’re setting up a good situation. Where the heck is Stanley going to go with this? In terms of this whole lafayan story and the Kissing Cape bar alone, Stanley seems to find everything. And then I don’t think they had said at this point after part one, like what his whole grandfather was, that he got robbed by Kissing Cape Barlow. So now you’re just thinking like, all right, his grandfather got robbed. Stanley’s going to fight his grandfather’s shit, right? Maybe you don’t know because you’d already read it a few times. Well, I remember the first time reading it when I found out that zero and zero non. His grandmother’s name was really. Oh, my God. I went, oh, my. You know, like that gift where the kids are going like, that was me. When that happened, I was like, the worlds are colliding. Yeah, okay. But I also hadn’t readily read books before, so maybe that’s why. But still, that was insane. Well, to be fair, until they did the big reveal, which we’ll get into a part two. I really didn’t realize it either. Oh, shit. I didn’t put two and two together. I’m an idiot. Were you doing the same thing? Were you on the floor like, oh, my God. Yeah, I was doing the thing when, like, the picture of the kid when he gets his N 64 for the first time or whatever.
Participant #1:
So we end part one with the birth of Kiss and Kate Barlow, as I said. And then part two kicks off with Stanley taking Zero under his wing. Zero has got his back. Zero is a little feisty. He’s like a Wolverine, and Zero has got his back. So Stanley figures out he doesn’t know how to read. And so Stanley is a good guy. So he teaches Zero how to read, and they have their own little deal here. They got their own little deal. Zero will dig Stanley’s hole for an hour a day so that Stanley has enough energy to teach Zero how to read. I don’t know how he got that deal. Sounds like a Ron to the deal for Zero. But either way, Stanley teaches him how to read. So there we go. Unfortunately, I was going to say that first off, Zero is a fucking stud mathematician. So what do you need to read for? You? Listen to books on tape, easy day, and just crush math. And then you could have taught this offer a little bit about math also. Yeah, either way. But yeah, go on. Yeah, zero knows the maths, written the maths. So this deal is creating a little tension with the rest of the guys. And there’s racial stuff going on in this book that I don’t think we really want to scratch the surface of. But basically, Stanley being a white guy and a lot of these other guys being of mixed race between black, Hispanic, and whatnot? They start making jokes that Zero is Stanley slave and stuff like that. So neither Stanley nor Zero thinks much of it, but it’s still creating some tension. And then when the warden and Mrs come by, the other guys start complaining and talking about this deal that is between Zero and Stanley. It’s not their deal. They have nothing to do with it, but they zigzag in particular narcs on our boys, Stanley and Zero. This thing, Stanley is not digging us all like, dude, mind your own business. Stanley already took the fall for you in this sunflower seed fiasco? No questions asked, didn’t say anything, didn’t want anything returned. And now you can stab him in the back over a little reading deal. Come on. Yes, it’s a great point. I didn’t think about that. That is some Narc stuff like you stabbed yeah, but I was thinking if I were Stanley, then I would trade those reading services for fighting skills. So teach me how to fight because that’s the biggest currency in their current situation, right? Like, X ray is like, the boss man because he’s willing to fucking put his fist up right away. Yeah, it seemed like you’d be like, yeah, teach me how to fight. I’m also bigger than everyone already. Would you ask to teach you how to fight? I just assume anyone. I don’t know. I don’t know if Zero know how to fight, but that’s the currency you need it to learn. Yeah, well, zeros is good. Zero has got that spas function. He’s got that spaz strength. So he’s a guy that teaches. He’s a little one. So he’s scrappy. If you start fighting, he’ll bite a finger off. He’s like, no. So there’s that because of this, Zero basically hits his breaking point. He’s like, no, I’m not digging no more holes. And it’s like, Whoa, you guys are digging holes. Mr. Pandanski is usually kind of a nice guy. You’re digging your hole, Mr. Stars, like, you’re digging your hole. He’s like, hell, no, I’m not digging a holes. Smashes them up inside the head with a shovel. Takes off, grabs a shovel, takes off. Smart. Should have grabbed some water, but now he’s in the desert. That’s where we are. Zero is stuck in the desert. People are like, yeah, zero is lost. No big deal. We’ll write him off. Stanley, though. He’s got heart. He’s got heart. He ain’t going to let that happen. So he goes after Zero, right? And he eventually comes upon Zero. This is leaves a couple of days later or whatever, but doesn’t bring any water either. Like another idiot. He eventually comes upon Zero in an upturn boat that takes us back to the Cape Barlow story. But he finds them underneath the boat and Zeros in there, shrinking, splugge Zeros in on them. By the way, zeros in on them. Stanley doesn’t know how to operate a car, but he knows what put it in gear means. Remember that he was like, the guy. That doesn’t make any sense. I would have no idea what that means if it’s never doing. A carbon Twitch comes in, which I put it in. Gary like, oh, of course. I’ll move the stick over here to the D. Like, who would ever know that? Andy, I hit the brake at the same time while you do it. Well, not if you’re just trying to get out of there, right? Can you move? Put it in gear. Brakes not engaged. If it’s in Park, I think you need to. Okay. We don’t even know we drive cars. My point is, yeah, put it in gear. Means if someone told me that I’d be confused and I drive cars. Yeah. So Stanley finds him underneath the boat. There in the middle of the desert. He’s been walking for hours. Through the whole day. So east there. So he thinks Zero must be dead. But Stanley goes find some refuge under this boat and finds Zero in a little dugout hole down there. So he’s wondering how the hell Zero survived? Because it’s been like two days. And Zero hands him a Mason jar of Spluge.
Participant #1:
What did you think when you first read that? Yeah, I think I didn’t realize it when I was in 6th grade. But when I read it, the second time I looked around like I was being fucked with, I was like, wait a second. Someone gave me a book that has, like, the things changed here. What is this for those that don’t know. Dan, do you want to explain what spoons? Well, I mean, I can only go off Urban Dictionary, which calls it an ejaculatory deposit, which sounds about right. And if you need that using a sentence, my roommate left his splugge covered T shirt on the floor again.
Participant #1:
Oh, wait. They call it sploosh. Yeah, but it’s pronounced the same. Yeah, same difference. But more importantly, right. Peaches were big in the town. The Camp Green Lake before peaches were huge kissing Kate Barlow. She had all these peach concoctions. So if she canned peaches, that’s 120 year old canned peaches. So is it drinking a straight vodka? Right? It’s boot, right? Yeah, it’s been fermenting. I mean, in best case scenario, it’s booze in best case scenario, assuming that it was preserved in the right way, it could be fine to drink. But Zero is getting hammered under that boat. Oh, got you. And in worst case situation, he’s dead from bacteria that has infiltrated those 120 year old pizza. Right. Let’s throw out reality for a second, because then they go to the garden and eat it. And he’s like, Well, I guess I’m fine now. Okay. We’ll throw reality. I mean, that’s what we should do. But at the same time, he drank 15 of those jars in a day. There are 16 jars. He says it maybe the maths off. He said there’s 16 jars. And then he’s like, how many are left? He goes one. So it’s like, wait, Zero drink 15 jars of splugge in a day. I mean, are you kidding me? Riley Reid couldn’t even do that. Or it’s like 15 beers in a day and their kids. So. Yeah, either way. Okay. Either way, they got one jar of collage left or listeners who don’t know Riley Reid is. Can you inform them also? Do you mean just Google it okay. Yeah. Turn the save filters off. Make sure now they have to decide we’re going back to camp, which is probably the prudent move. Take our liquid and then deal with it. Or do we do something else? Zero doesn’t want to leave. So this God’s thumb has been on Stanley’s mind. Man, this God’s thumb thing. He thinks he’s seen it, and he looks out. He sees what looks to be like this God’s thumb or a giant thumb in the air on the top of a Hill. And so they say, all right, let’s make for God’s thumb. Why? I have no idea why they’re going to decide to go up there. They think there might be water at the top of this mountain. But either way, they’re going to make for it’s. Calling to Stanley. So they do their version of the Jews escaping Egypt, and they head towards the thumb up there. It takes a while. They’re sipping on the sploosh back and forth, trying not to waste it. Zero is in rough shape. He drank way too much Spluge, so he’s healing over. He’s sick and in his hysteria, let’s say he decides to tell Stanley that he stole the shoes. Right? This is a big reveal. This is our first big reveal. Everything’s connected. He stole the shoes. So his story checks out. For the most part, it checks out he was poor. He was in the homeless shelter. He saw the shoes and he took them. Yeah, I get it. No big deal, which they had kind of foreshadowed to earlier when Zero asked if there was the X on them, which I liked little childhood foreshadowing. But here’s where we talked at the total top of the show we talked about. You said all the words are in place. All this stuff. This was the biggest gripe for me late on me. He says he put the zeros like I put the shoes on and I was like, start running. Whatever Stanley asked him, he says the shoes fit you. And Zero says, yeah, why? Bullshit. I call bullshit. I call bullshit. No way. 0% chance. This is a 14 year old kid who’s already scrawny and small for his age. So he probably has a really hip puberty and his balls have barely dropped. And you’re telling me that he has the same size feet as a professional athlete? Yeah. They try to smooth it over like, oh, Clive Livingston has pretty small feet. But like, why even include that? Like what? It makes Zero sense. Pun. Totally intended. It makes Zero fucking sense. Just say, oh, did the shoes fit you? No. That’s why I took them off and threw them over the overpass because I couldn’t run fast enough. There’s so many other ways to go about that than by him saying the shoes fit. You wait, why did they even include that? I don’t remember it at all. Exactly. It made no sense. Why even include that or just don’t even say anything about whether the shoes fit or not? We don’t put on our dad’s slippers and tried to run before, so just be like, yeah, I couldn’t run in them. I thought he got rid of them because they didn’t fit. No, it purposely says, Clive living is pretty small feet. And now you’re coming after Clive Dong. I don’t appreciate that either. Well, did they fit Stanley. I don’t think he did. He even wear them. He just got hit. I mean, if the gloves don’t fit, you must have quit. That’s the first thing. Yeah, we know about his great great grandfather already, so I don’t know. Maybe they would fit Igor. They’re not fit, Igor. I’ll tell you what, that was my biggest crap of the whole thing. Still is it’s in my crack. I wake up in cold sweats and I think I did not see that one coming. I was waiting for this big, like plot hole that I missed, but. Okay, I guess it is. That is a huge plot hole that you missed. What are you talking about? But again, a plot hole can’t be solved by one sentence that could be solved by one sentence. Yeah, exactly. It’s a giant plot hole that could be solved by one sentence. What were you doing, Lewis? The guy says he writes six drafts every time he writes a book I appreciate. Wow, research. They did a little research. How did you not find this in draft three, four or five. Crazy doesn’t make any sense. But let’s get back to the boys now. They’re doing their little Frodo and Sam vibe. Stanley’s carrying zero up the mountain because the ring is too heavy. Aka the splutter in his stomach is weighing down on him. They make it to the top of God’s thumb. It’s no Garden of Eden, per se, but it is to them because it’s got muddy water and endless onions. Onions galore. Right. So if you got a giblet going and take a nice sip, taste that pickled Pearl onion. And if you got some fermented peaches going, take a nice sip of that because they just finished the last of their splugge, so they get some revelry up there. They kind of recover for a couple of days. Eat the onions. Eat the onions like apples, which is tough as someone with some gastroenteritis myself. Sounds tough on the belly, but I guess these are particularly sweet onions. Yeah, I can jump in on that. I mean, this passage portion was written by the NOAA. And if you guys don’t know that this is the National Onion Association, which is real. Onions do everything. Onions are the greatest thing to man that’s ever been invented. They what cure baldness. They prevent deadly lizards, which aren’t real yellow. Okay, hold on. You have to say this is earlier. This is with Sam when he’s Hawking his elixirs. Yeah, which everyone knows now, but 100%. They basically make it out to be this infomercial of onions. It just comes out of nowhere. Onions fix everything. Onions do this. I looked it up and I basically said the onions thing onion actually provide. What does it actually do? And basically to survive off onions, it’s basically impossible. I read from some guy who was on the Internet, so he’s definitely a doctor or some smart person for sure. Not made up the only dangerous factors for eating onions is the fact that there’s no nutritional value in an onion. You don’t get vitamin D or calcium. Your bones are brittle. There’s not enough vitamin C in an onion, so your vision will get worse. You’ll start to have bad skin, and onion has nothing to help benefit our bodies and would be bad for our health. And onions contains no kind of protein, either. And that’s what needs to be maintained. This is basically someone had asked, Could I just live off eating onions? And the person was like, absolutely not. Okay, well, hold on, hold on. There’s no protein. Relax, less trout. I don’t know what that is. He’s the other bear grills guy, not bear Grylls, but the other one the Canadian one. But we’re talking a survival situation you’re referencing. Could someone literally just live on? They lived on for, like, what, 14 days or something crazy. I think it was like, a week, but we’re not good with math, just like the other half. Six dozen. Whatever that’s saying. Pardon me. Onions are. I love me a good onion sauteed usually. But onions are great for heart health. They’re loaded with antioxidants. This is the Noa talking. Did they get you compounds that help control blood sugar? Here we go. They may boost bone density, so I don’t know who may or Maine may or may they have antibacterial properties? Do they solve baldness? No. So that was the one thing I was going to say. Probably not. Sam was trying to pull one over on that. Here’s the question, D, man, if they’re lying about that, what else are they lying about? And this is the Naa. I know that’s coming in and doing this. So my twist on this whole story is that maybe the attacks on Sam weren’t racial. Maybe it just happened at the same time that people were really getting fed up with the fact that their hair wasn’t growing back and that Sam was basically a snake oil salesman. Yeah, he was like, don’t worry about the doctors. Just come to me. I’ll give you this, like, onion juice and it’ll fix everything. So maybe that was the case, but I’m not sure exactly on that. But either way, onions are very healthy for you. And that’s bullshit. Whatever this online doctor you got to. You got to you. All right, so we find the boys at God’s Bomb. They take a brief respite, right? We get seven days in, maybe more. Who knows the math? But they’ve been enjoying their muddy water and their onions. And Stanley, he’s thinking about that Kate Barlow lipstick that he found. And he’s, like, zero says he’s not digging any more holes. But Sandy’s, like, let’s dig one more hole. Comes up with a plan. Worked their way back to camp, digging that hole where he found the Cape Barlow stuff. See if they could find the treasure and then book it. High tail. It Fellman, Louise, Bonnie and Clyde, whatever you want. That’s their goal. So they work their way back. Right? They take some onions with them, they take some muddy water, they work their way back, start digging. They find Stanley yelling at the the first or the second his treasure. But previous to this, the whole story comes full circle, which I’m sure you liked this part with Zero. So Zero ends up being Madame ZaRoni’s great grandchild. Right. And so by Stanley doing his best, Samwise Gamgee impersonation and carrying Zero up the mountain, he fulfills that original goal for a helmet to carry a Zoroni up to the top of a mountain and feed them water. The curse has been broken. The curse of the Bambino has been broken. And now everyone’s lucky. You don’t go from unlucky to just back to normal. You go from unlucky to super lucky, and they find the treasure. All these spotted lizards come out. Well, big show. For some reason, they don’t bite them. I think they’re like, chill with the boys. Now. The onion juice, the onion juice. They’ve been drinking onion juice, onions the whole time, which prevents you from getting another falsity, because obviously those three spotted lizards are even real. Seven spotted. Yes. Whatever. Yellow spotted. That’s a good point. Yellow spotted. I think maybe they have eleven spots. Once again, math. But everything culminates with the Ward and Mrs. Coming out. Also, at the same time, Stanley’s new lawyer comes out, which we’ll discuss shortly. And the treasure belongs to Stanley because it’s got his name on it, which Zero wonderfully identifies, because now he can read and he can read good. And inside a bunch of treasure, they both get out of camp. They survive. And inside the box is this treasure. A million dollars for each of them, which I figure just kind of a round number the author decided on. It doesn’t really matter much, but enough that Stanley can take care of his family and Zero can find his mom who may or may not have been hooked up because of that Stanley’s dad, because of the whole Zaroni thing getting fulfilled. Stanley’s dad, instead of finding a use for recycled sneakers, realizes that peaches and onions is a perfect mix to cure foot odor. So he makes it big with his own Dr. Scholl’s insert spray that makes the feet not stink no more and gets endorsed by Clive Livingston. Zero finds his mom happy ending for all right, circular. I loved it. Yeah. So that’s our story. It ends with Stanley’s family being able to make it out of the doldrums. Zero finally getting a happy family with his mom, which we love. But there must be some gripes you have with the ending here. I was a fan of it, I think again, the big circular thing I always liked, like Seinfeld. Every episode seemed to be the circular. Everything kind of goes back to where it started or everything is kind of loose ends tied together where certain parts of the story weren’t there’s always, like, some sort of, like this thing collides with this, and it ends up being the perfect mesh at the end. I love that. I always said, like, I hate the red herring stuff where you’re just learning about someone just to have it there. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t really give you any direction in the story. So I was a huge fan of this. And since then, I’ve liked books like this where you always have that, AHA, moment at the end. Big fan of that. Also want to note huge fan of a lot of short chapters. Huge. Yes. Look at like, you’re a chapter 15. You’ve read like 16 pages. I love that. Oh, God, I’ve accomplished so much. I couldn’t agree more with you on that. I think that the short chapter stuff is also a good way to stop when you’re reading these longer books. It’s hard to kind of, like, hit the pause button in the middle of something. But these chapters come at you so quick and you feel like you’re gaining something. You’re accomplishing something. Yeah, that’s the only asked. I have it’s all about accomplishing things and bragging to people that you’ve read books. If you’ve read, like, three chapters of books, it doesn’t sound good. But if I’m like, yeah, I just got 50 chapters through and it’s 50 pages. That’s amazing, right? Yeah. That’s marketing 101. Really. So I guess one passage that I’d like to take to know your feelings on is happens when they find the Mary Lou boat, right. So upside down, then Sandley find Zero. Here it goes, right? Zero suddenly groaned. He grabbed his stomach and bent over. Are you all right? Zero dropped to the ground. He lay on his side, his knees pulled up to his chest. He continued to groan. Stanley washed helplessly. He wondered if it was the sploosh.
Participant #1:
What are your thoughts on that? Well, first off, obviously, it was a sluice. What else would it be? I don’t know what else it would be. Also, is he taking a shit there or what are you doing? I can’t tell no. His legs were at his chest. His knees were by his ears. And he said legs were groan by his ears, and he groaned. And he said, It must be this bluish carry on. I did really like the Kate and Sam interactions. I thought those are really good. It had a little Princess Bride vibe to it. If you’ve seen that film with her being like, oh, the windows are broken. He would be like, I can fix that. And she was like, oh, the Roof’s broken. He’s like, I can fix that. And then she’s like, My heart is broken. And he was like, I can fix that. That was a little bit of as you wish from Princess Bride. So I enjoyed that. I thought overall, I liked how it had the multiple storylines, the multiple storylines going on. I think for the age group that it’s going for. It was really good at doing the stuff that you’re saying where everything kind of ties together and there is a good it’s one of those ones where if you reread it afterwards, you would see how obvious all the things were that happened. But I think as you’re reading it, you don’t see those the first time. So I really liked being able to have some of those reveals that were showed to you. I feel like sometimes you read books, it’s like, oh, they’re either too obvious or they’re like, way too obscure. That’s like, I couldn’t figure that out. Yeah, they did a good job of letting you figure it out if you could, but at the same time, you don’t feel dumb if you could, even though I felt a little dumb as a full grown male not realizing that Zaroni and Zaroni were related. I guess the big question is, though, would you recommend holes to a friend? Is my friend a 13 year old child? I know you have a lot of 13 year old friends, but no, if someone bumps into you on the street, you haven’t seen them in five years, let’s say. And they say, what books are you reading recently? Because this is the normal conversation you have with someone that you say you read holes. Would you think of it? Should I pick it up? Would you recommend it? Yeah. I guess the listener of this particular program would think that I would say no, because all I’ve pretty much done is on the inconsistencies. And whatnot? I thought it was fun. I thought it was a nice quick read. Like you could sit in the afternoon and read this book if you want great beach book, especially since you’re out in the sand. Definitely a good beach book. You could start digging a hole if you want. Try to stay away from the yellow seven spotted lizards or eleven spotted lizards. I would say yes, but I wasn’t. I mean, come on, some of these inconsistencies are just ridiculous. His feet are not that big is great. Well, we didn’t even really get into the attorney whose parents couldn’t afford an attorney for him, but they could afford an eternity an attorney because his dad wanted to get his patent figured out. Well, he was about to sell it for millions. So that’s fair, I guess so. I mean, Jeez, we’re there family business or to Stanley, that is a good point. They really didn’t care about it. But I think for the age range that it’s going for like, no one’s really picking up those things. I thought it was a fun little book, so yes or no, you didn’t answer that. I mean, if it’s binary, then I’m going, yes, I like it right? It’s a yes from me as well. And it’s the number one ranked book since we’ve only done one so far. Is it number ranked one for you? It’s the buddy book clubs. Yeah, number one ranked book so far this year. Okay. I like it before we close up shop here. Did you see the movie? I did not. Okay. John Voight plays Mr. Sur. I didn’t really know the differences between. First of all, I thought Mr. Peninsky for the first half was a good guy, and then the second half, he was bad. So I didn’t get that because he was, like, out there, like, the bandgated member. He was like, what do you guys want to do with your life? Once you get out of here, you got to find what you would do, what you’re passionate about that type of stuff. I was like, oh, this dude is a good dude. And then two chapters later, he’s like, the worst person ever. I was like, Wait, what? Yeah. Maybe it’s because I had watched The Wire recently. And Mr. Pandansky sounds a lot like Mr. Preslewski. So that was kind of. Mr. Presbow was like, kind of the guy I thought of as Mr. Pandevi, because they called a mom. That was his Cam name. He was like, seemed like trying to talk to kids about what they’re going to do when they get out of there. But he’s also calling like, Zero an idiot. Yeah, but then at the end, he’s like, let’s kill these kids and not worry about what happens. He wants zero to 100 real quick talk about a heel turn for my character for no reason at all, either. Yeah. So Mr. Prescott, aka Mr. Pandanski, I don’t know what’s going on with him, but he’s got some issues. He’s actually played by the guy from Old Brother. I can’t think of the actors. Yeah. I think I looked up all the images of the people to see if they made sense. And that would make sense of the casting. If you thought he was going to be the person at the end. At the beginning, he’d be like, a good dude. As we said. Duly. Hill phenomenal. Igor is played by Asimat from the Bora. Yeah, I saw that. I mean, and we know he’s got that big old Hught Weaver as the warden. I didn’t buy it. Give me Connie Britt, aka Tammy Taylor. That’s who I wanted to know. Yeah. Nice Southern accent. That’d be good. Exactly. I know you had some issues with Shia. Yeah. I mean, China, I think, is a phenomenal actor. Even Stevens. Great. Great show. But the actor called or the book called for an overweight actor. And I know Shy is all about that committed, method actor life. So you told me he did not gain weight for it, which is not. He looks good. That changes my opinion of him. Almost as an actor, frankly. Yeah. I thought he’d be the kind of guy that would start eating candy bars and live in a hole or just like, dig home every day. Where was his dad for this? Have you seen the new Shia movie where he portrays his dad? His dad would never let this fly. No, his dad was like, you had to fully commit to things. He did it as far as I know. So can you think if this movie didn’t come out? I know it did. But do you have any other actors in place that you’d like for maybe Stanley, that would fit more with. The thing is, you have to do, like, a kid actor, which is obviously tough. Yeah. I don’t really know a lot of kid actors. You’re not watching the Disney Channel that often, right? That’s from history. I could do anyone that’s currently an actor right now. Yeah. Or like that was, you know. Yeah. I mean, I was just default to my favorite actors, so that’s no problem with that. But I’m thinking of anyone that would be great. Would be the dude from Super Bad.
Participant #1:
Yeah. He’s a little bit pudgy. Jonah Hill, like, I feel like you would make the movie because you need calls for a guy that’s a little bit funny, which I think I probably played a funny character in this. I’m thinking Jerry O’Connell from Stand By Me. You remember, he’s like, the fat kid. I have to look that up. Yeah, but he’d be up there. Or Christian Bale as a kid, aka La Newsies. I think he would be able to pack on. We already know he’s a method actor, so we know. Yeah, he would have sold out. I mean, I’ll give Shy a pass. Maybe he just like, I don’t care if he’s 14. You got to put the weight on. He was good in it, though. So at the end of the day, we liked the book. We thought the movie was okay. Tough casting, but we would recommend this book. It gets two buddies. Thumbs up. There you go. Do you know what you want to read for our next one? Yeah, for our buddy listeners. No. You’re the one that’s supposed to come up with it. I thought I picked this one. I just asked you. No, we’ll do a follow up, then on what? Boga rating next. Okay. I like it. We’ll put our minds together and we’ll get some email accounts going. Social media, email. Figure it out. Exactly. Well, holes. It was a good book. Thanks for chatting out with me. And thanks. Thanks for pulling me into this whole shindig. This was fun. Indeed. Indeed. Keep crashing. Let past card Joe, take us out and I’ll talk to you later. Bye now. Bye, buddy.
