“Climbing” Mount Everest is a Lie

When I was young I was obsessed with learning what was ‘best of the best’. I was constantly asking my parents questions, ‘who is the richest person in the world’ – Bill Gates. ‘Who is the greatest basketball team ever’ – Boston Celtics. ‘What will eventually be the most popular podcast’ – Buddy Book Club. These were all facts I consumed and would spout out. And one fact I found most interesting was that Mount Everest is the tallest mountain in the world and many had died trying to summit it. 

I imagined these crazy adventure seekers throwing on some winter gear, maybe strapping on a backpack with some power bars, and taking on the mountain elements. Pretty incredible, until you realize it’s all one big lie. Climbing Mount Everest is closer to Viserys Targaryen “tracking”, and “hunting” a deer in the most recent episode of House of Dragons.

(Don’t worry not really a spoiler or that important to the plot):

Mount Everest still has this glamorous claim to summiting it, but here are a few things you should know about “Climbing” Mount Everest:

Mount Everest Sherpas

Climbing Mount Everest wouldn’t be possible without Sherpas (Tibetan ethnic groups native to the most mountainous regions of Nepal). Climbing Everest is like Tandem Skydiving. The Sherpas are the experts of the mountain, they’re strapped to you and hold your life in their hands. This isn’t really even a secret, “Sherpa guides are not just the muscle behind any expedition – carrying extra gear such as oxygen bottles, water and food – they are also expert navigators. Enduring freezing temperatures of -30C down to -50C, they help climbers to negotiate icefalls, avalanches and extreme altitude.”

Sherpas do the dangerous job of fixing the ropes, ladders, and keeping the mountain clean and safe for tourists trying to ‘climb’. I always assumed it was these incredible experts and adventurers like Bear Grylls climbing Everest but in reality it’s become much easier for a commoner to do it (as long as you have money – see below). I will say this Göran Kropp fella could actually say he climbed Everest, since he did it by himself without oxygen or Sherpa support.

Mount Everest Cost

What really precludes most from attempting to climb Mount Everest, isn’t the overwhelming physical challenges but instead the overwhelming cost. The average journey costs ‘Anywhere from $30,000 to $160,000, with the average falling somewhere around $45,000.’ This doesn’t include the expensive travel costs or the fact that most normal people would have to take off over a month of work: ‘Most expeditions to Everest take around two months‘ Which brings me to my next point…

“Climbing” Mount Everest = 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

Calling mount Everest a climb would be like calling the Tour de France a bike ride. At least on the Tour de France they are trekking across all of France, you can see their progress. On Mount Everest “expeditions generally make at least three trips up the mountain from Base Camp, going a few thousand feet higher with each successive trip before making a push for the top.” I get it that they need to acclimate, but I still don’t count this as a ‘climb’.

They should be trained and ready to make the climb when they get there. Sounds to me like this is a month long training session followed by one climb. Saying you’re “climbing” Everest would be like me saying “I’m jacked” because I’m going to spend $40k on a personal trainer and actually start working out every day for the next 2 months. Or like saying ‘Even though Apollo 11 was the first to actually make it to the moon, all of the other Apollo Missions before it we’re part of the ‘landing on the moon’. Sorry Neil and Buzz, you weren’t first, the ‘climb’ to reach the moon, had already started way before you.

Mount Everest Has Camps & Ropes

When I go hiking at my local mountain (991 feet in elevation, nbd) I don’t need oxygen, or ropes or a Sherpa guiding me. There aren’t ‘basecamps’ for me to take a break and refuel. I just show up with my SPF 100 sunscreen, a good audiobook, and make the trek/heroic voyage. Should I be praised for this? Probably. All I know is that if you’re being handed everything you need to do a ‘climb’ and have someone guiding you, you’re not some incredible expeditionist, you’re someone that has a lot of money, free time, and wants to brag to their friends. You’re a glorified tourist. Yeah, it may have a 4% death rate, but I once saw a rattle snake while hiking, so we’re all taking risks.