Fifty Shades of Grey – E.L. James – Episode 69

The Buddies made it to episode 69, nice! As promised, they delivered reading their favorite (and only) erotic romance novel, Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. Beside talking about the birds and the bees, they also chatted about contract loopholes, the importance of biting your lip, and the true meaning of “inner goddess”. So pick out your finest undies, get a cold bucket of water ready, and submit to the Buddy Book Club’s will, as we read Fifty Shades of Grey.

Intro: (0:00-2:35)
Stock Up/Down (2:36-30:30)
Favorite Scene (30:31-32:26)
Love/Hate (32:27-39:14)
Listener Emails (39:15-43:41)
Conclusion/Review (43:42-46:46)

 Next Book: THE DEADLY DEAL by J. LEE

Transcript for SEO Purposes 🙂

all right welcome to book club I’m Dylan here with my submissive Keith who doesn’t make love he [ __ ] hard what’s up slave come in doing it I’m joined by Dylan as most women and men describe him as quote the epitome of male Beauty simply breathtaking so delicious lot of delicious in this book all right well here at the Buddy book club we’re breaking down some bestsellers and this week we’ll be discussing for our 69th episode the fastest selling paperback in the United Kingdom of all time 50 Shades of Gray by elel James if you’d like to recommend a book for us to read or reach out to us about any past episodes or send us any hate mail for this episode you can visit our website buddybook club.com or sign to our DMS on Twitter or Instagram buddybook Club podcast you can listen to us on iTunes and Spotify or wherever you your podcast so please download And subscribe Keith do you have your bucket of cold water we just might need it what is your experience with erotic romantic novels this is uh this is my first okay this is what we call smut right you started reading it before I did and to be fair to all the listeners out there I only read the first half or I’m at like 42% honestly don’t think I’ll be continuing this journey and Keith is the same we’ve only read the first half in general just so you know we don’t have the full story I actually had a friend in I I think Elementary School who got his hands on some erotic novel and it was like legit PN to us you know at that time this is pre pre-comp computers and whatnot and we were just wondering like what are all these things that we were reading so we’d have sleepovers and like someone would read a chapter and it was like oh my God this is wild stuff and this was probably at that level I feel like it’d be good you to get kids reading that early you know it’s it’s way better to have to build their imagination than to you know watch hardcore porn right just have to read oh 100% I mean it’s probably safer for children these days now they’ve like get their hands on anything at the click of a button but yeah that you should go into schools instead of like the Scholastic challenge imagine if that was just filled with with smut kids would be reading all the time I think there’s a big political issue right now like brushing over it perfect all right well whatever either way I just want to be clear that that we’d only read the first half and I do have a bucket of cold water next to me in case this conversation gets too hot and heavy in which case I will be dumping it on my head and ruining my computer uh be Keith let’s jump into some stock up stock down what do you have for stock up stock up it being all mental I like this term a lot it’s all mental but I’m getting I’m getting right into it I mean her roommate Kate she’s got to figure it out so she’s been bugging this Christian Gray dude for an interview for six months just will not stop emailing and getting out in front of him he finally agrees and she gets a little stomach ache a little cold and she just whimpers out and roommate to do it it like what are we talking about here G yeah can use drink a little ginger ale and figure it out like it’s it’s embarrassing I haven’t taken a sick day since the first grade actually I don’t remember the last time I sick grade never never middle school high school college not never sick days I don’t do sick days in fact I’ll give you a good story you might have heard this one before I went up for the national championship Clemson’s playing one out obviously on uh I think Saturday the game was on Monday drank a couple beers popped a couple sodas adult sodas and the night with some chicken wings naturally don’t get me started there don’t get me started on those go to buddybook club.com if you want to know more wake up middle of the night and start both ends coming out of everything naturally wow this is exactly like the book the next day we drive to where the stadium is same thing I’m like I’ll be fine tomorrow I’ll be fine tomorrow next day we wake up it’s game day and I’m just like holy [ __ ] this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me I’m so out of the game mentally I drink a cou of water and I immediately RG it out right it’s just an instant we go to the game I’m like and everyone’s like you’re good I’m like yeah yeah I’m good I’m good drink a half a Bud Light right to a pter body to [ __ ] in a port body the kickoff happens I’m in the bathroom [ __ ] I make it through the whole game I watch the whole game I [ __ ] had a smile my whole game we won great national championship and it’s a great story but I [ __ ] made it D with that she can’t make it on a stomach ache Give me the give the [ __ ] out of here all right that was equally as descriptive but more written than this entire book and honestly slightly more disgusting and just as erotic as that what you meant to say yeah definitely just as erotic for sure but I did have a similar stock up which is being a terrible interviewer because after Kate decides she just can’t do it which is mind bottling gives it Anastasia like hey you got to go interview this guy Anastasia knows she’s going to interview Christian Gray it’s a big deal he’s a super super duper big wig this is no joke she doesn’t even read the interview questions before going to see him she’s studying kid yeah it doesn’t matter if she gives them to you as you’re walking out the door on your way over there just give him a cursory look just look over him real quickly instead she pulls a full Ron Burgundy and just goes off the telepromter and says are you gay it’s like whoa I can’t believe I didn’t see that if I opened a sheet of interview questions and the word gay was on there my eyes would be drawn to it and be like hold on a second I’m not about to just drop this this bomb here it was terrible and also Kate’s supposed to be this good journalist but talk about some Goa journalism you just like have this plan to just throw that in there terrible but it’s a stock up because at the end she gets the guy or at least the creepoid so yeah being a terrible interview stock up sure what else you got reading stock up I get what Anastasia sees in Christian he’s all man and then some he’s basically the most attractive smartest richest person ever naturally you know just fine what does he see in her literally the only thing we know about her the only thing this is 10 hours into the book is that she likes British novels and she like can’t handle alcohol that’s it tea she likes tea so I guess it’s like meant for like oh any any woman can become yeah you fill in the blanks of you’re that you’re her because they don’t give you anything other than that she likes books and if you’re reading this book you probably like books too she’s not even like self-deprecating in a cute way like everyone says she’s attractive but she’s like I’m I’m not attractive I’m not attractive I’m not attractive it’s like slow down just honestly like give yourself some Grace the whole book is pretty much her inner monologue and it started to just get annoying honestly how little she she thought of herself and then how much she thought of she be like Christian Gray is in my bedroom it’s like yeah you’re dating him and you have a contract that says he gets to beat you with a cane so yeah he’s in your bedroom what Christian Gray is playing the piano yeah what do you think those fingers have been like are you kidding me of course you can tickle the ivory tickled everything else stay in then again like I get it cuz she went to the auditorium and or maybe this might be the chapter after I might have read ahead but they go to an auditorium and every single person there is literally like holy [ __ ] who’s this dude up in the stage this guy’s the hottest person I’ve ever seen in my entire life but like every single person’s like salvaing at seeing him you must have some quality and considering you have no personality other than reading you must be pretty good-looking that’s the only thing I can think of or made more sense if she if he’s super into virgins or something yeah I was going to say he could probably just like sniff the virginity on her or something like that but he hated that when she said that so I was like so what is he into about her I don’t get it I don’t usually go out looking for Subs not usually unless they’re uh wrapped in a sandwich roll and have some Gaba goul on them uh but but maybe it’s just like a vibe that someone gives off like oh they’d be a great sub or something like that this is what I think is that she did is she whispered I’m really into the BBC and he was like holy yeah and she met the Buddy book club yeah she did of course cuz she likes reading and she listens to us big big reader for sure you bachelors and bachet out there just read and and listen to the podcast and you’ll you’ll get whoever you want you get the next Christian grade to hang you up by your toes and slap you with a fanny thing or whatever he had I don’t know my next talk up underage drinking okay touchy subject I understand I do understand I’m not condoning underage people drinking what I will say is when you don’t drink until you’re in your early 20s and you decide to save it for like a special occasion graduating college or whatever the case is I’ve seen it before people tend to go a little too much they don’t realize because they see everyone else who’s worked up their tolerance a little bit and they say okay I can go toe to- Toe with this person Anna never being drunk before and then deciding to drink five Margaritas talk about the sugar cow like no one’s even expl explain that to her the amount of sugar and alcohol together how dangerous that is for your hangover my God but she drinks five Margaritas after never being drunk before and goes completely off the wall praise to her for after drinking those five Margaritas to be like no no I think I’m good let’s switch to beer I appreciated that honestly I was like wow she’s a gamer I did like that aspect of it but if you kind of have a little taste here and there realize your limits before being in this like situation where not only you just graduate college but you’ve been approached by this billionaire and you need to like drink to forget about it only bad things can happen so people out there who have decided you know maybe I’m just going to try a little bit here or maybe in the safety of your own home with your parents or whatever the cases that’s usually the best way to do it don’t just go out there and take inbra substances to the max the first time it’s it’s it’s just never a good idea I for one uh shared a nice bottle of 151 with some friends behind a church in high school and we were drinking plowed snow that was mixed with gravel to wash it down terrible experience one of the worst of my life was it a lesson yes I learned a lot don’t drink Sandy gravel 151 100 proof is five 151 also five it’s five Margaritas yeah five Margaritas is I’d black out yeah I’ve been drinking for 20 years yeah want to do say this as well cuz it’s in relation another stock up the sexual experimentation in your late teens once again I’m not condoning anything and I’m not and I’m not talking about the crazy stuff okay reach out to Dylan if you’re interested is what he say I’m not talking about the crazy stuff you know maybe a little over the pants party some heavy petting in the back of a movie theater whatever you know at that age everyone is so inexperienced that there’s not a lot of harm that can be done it’s like 10-year-olds playing tackle football you know that’s what I equate this to because there’s just not enough physical mass for them to hurt each other and it’s similar to like two people fumbling around who don’t really understand what’s going on it’s a good way to learn but if you decide to wait then you have a chance of running into and falling for some sadistic [ __ ] like Christian Gray it’s like you’ve never felt anything with another man and then all of a sudden it’s this guy who’s sweeps you off your feet gives you normal quote unquote vanilla sex and then takes you to his dungeon and hangs you by your toenails like I said it it’s like very confusing cuz then she’s wondering you know is this normal is this what normal people do it’s not I thought we don’t we don’t Yu anyone’s yum here kid I thought what’s going on here it’s a good point it’s a good point consent is very important and just like those 10-year-olds wearing pads protection also yeah protection and those 10-year-olds signed a consent form too only say this God no they don’t they show those filthy bugets they s from port to port to great we’re back we’re back baby yeah so sexual experimentation your LS go for it drink and have sex 19 and 18y olds okay well I just mentioned vanilla sex so let’s go there stock up vanilla sex so for for Anna’s first time we’ve been building up we’ve been dealing with horrible writing for the first six seven hours of this book being like I thought this was about sex I thought this book was about disgusting depraved sex and all I’ve heard about is Anna’s inner monologue about her goddess like that’s all I’ve heard so like when does the sex start so when Anna goes to Seattle or Vancouver or wherever it is that uh Christian lives he finds out she’s a virgin as we’ve alluded to and he says he has to have sex with her he gives her what he calls quote unquote vanilla sex and I just want to be clear if I told the wife we were about to have vanilla sex she would one say yeah what else is new and two she would expect the standard 37 seconds of the most mediocre experience of her life right whatever Christian gives Anna is absolutely not vanilla or if it is vanilla it’s it’s like some super secret vanilla beans that only come from a specific mountain in Madagascar that you have to get Arnold sweger from the Predator to like go up and take those vanilla beans and smuggle them out it’s the opposite of vanilla it’s Rocky Road whipped cream cherries bananas on top I mean he legit rocks are world I don’t know maybe it’s a stock down because now people will think this is what vanilla sex is because if that’s vanilla sex then what the hell am I doing cuz whatever it is what’s worse than vanilla sherbet yeah you know I have no idea I’m having sherbet sex it’s like frozen yogurt not not real ice cream that’s what I’m doing it’s like some Briar’s just milk no actual cream in it it’s like Briar’s low sugar sugar sugar free yeah sugar free ice cream that’s what maybe it’s just me but the confidence that Christian Gray has like what who is this dude and the whole time I’m thinking my mind if I’m ever lucky enough to ever have sex once is like don’t blow this don’t blow this don’t mess up don’t don’t do this you’re doing you know like there’s no point that I’m actually enjoying it you know you just I’m just woring the whole time that’s really what it comes down to right else right you’re like don’t hate me in the morning like please have a semblance of an enjoyment from this experience you know it’s just the whole time I’m worried that’s there’s no there’s never fun it’s always after I think I’m like oh I guess that was fun maybe yeah no 100% I couldn’t agree with you more when you’re young when you’re young doing that thing I mean he’s obviously to to not right now okay uh you had no more stock UPS I I just had quickly biting your lip I I mean it’s referenced a thousand times in this book how she bites her lip and he’s like if you bite your lip one more time I’m going to eat your face off and shove things in your butt it’s like I what Jes Christ yeah honestly I was very confused about him being like I’m going to beat you if you bite your lip again it’s like I know there’s like pictures of people biting their lip but if someone just like was constantly chewing on their lip I’d be like do you need chapstick like what’s going on I don’t understand it it’s not inous right yeah exactly it’s like not incredibly sexy maybe the first time if you saw someone like looking at you across the bar you’d be like oh my God is she looking at me but once she just like couldn’t stop eating her own face i’ I’d be confused I guess it’s a stock up yeah I mean I I guess it’s a thing I don’t know what I was doing you would just think she has like a tooth out of place you’re like is she an over bite like what’s her deal yeah she trying to hide something but I I guess I just don’t know what I was doing this whole time like taking women out on dates or well you weren’t a billionaire kid so I don’t but I should have just been biting my lip the whole time and women would be like oh my god wow he’s so attractive it’s good point I’ll try it uh what do you have for stock down stock down Stitch fix hello fresh pelaton all stock Downs so this contract she’s given right I mean I just don’t understand where the issues are I just really don’t I I was like reading through it and I’m like oh yeah she gets someone that pick out her outfit to dress her she gets food picked out for her delivered to her given to her she gets a personal trainer and she doesn’t to pay for any of these that’s all things we that we get charged for by th Services now I think these companies read this book and we’re like we should just charge people for these she’s literally getting all the toughest things about life paid for I mean what are we talking about here and then I mean there are some issues right but I don’t make eye contact with the opposite sex or talk to them really so that’s fine we’re good there check that box that’s fine you I know we’re not allowed to do that based on the contract but I’m not already doing that so we’re good there and then someone’s going to degrade and beat me up and tell me I’m worthless like yeah did yeah me that’s sign me up did you read my blog about strip clubs I really wrote that in there I said I wish the strip club just had people yelling at me it have been much better it’s a win-win win for me I don’t really understand she’s getting she’s this is all free this is stuff I pay for I mean uh this stuff I would pay for I what I was saving it for some lingering questions I had at the end but I was going to ask if this contract is something that you would sign up for I mean obviously sign up sign me up right away I’m saying not I’m trying to give you an out like not today you know in the past maybe your early 20s I’m not reviewing it just Sig he’s like uh son of the dotted line after you read the whole thing and you like hand it back to him it’s like it’s already signed it’s good we’re good we’re good to go where do I go where I already got zip ties on where do I [Laughter] go yeah I don’t know what the issue was I don’t get it honestly it seemed like a pretty good deal to me and and a lot of the reviews were like you know it was bad for women cuz she didn’t really negotiate and that’s probably a whole another question that we’re not going to get into here but I was down I was like okay so there’s a billionaire who just wants to like tickle me and like do some weird stuff but he’s going to pay for me to work out buy me clothes uh buy me all the food I need and like I’m supposed to eat healthy like I can only eat fruit as a snack okay maybe we need some negotiation there but I do like fruit so like I’m good with it it sounded pretty awesome I just have to give up three weekends a month it’s like it’s like being in the Army Reserves like I saw I saw those commercials two two weekends a month through like one week a year it’s like yeah this is way better less painful though yeah it’s you I’m not gonna die it says on the consent form I’m not gonna die you don’t get that consent form with the Army Reserve I also had an out by the way for the contract the whole time it was like there’ll never be any feces or urine like stuff there’s no need for code word I’d just be like start pissing or I’d be like I need to piss or need to take a [ __ ] right no that is a code yell over Cod yellow you see that exactly so you’re just out of it immediately because that’s in the contract so I was I already found a loophole you I love that you read that as thoroughly as they did in the book cuz honestly the point that I stopped at at the book it was like two chapters of her reading this contract over and over and over again I it was like it was like the author needed to extend pages so she was like let me just reprint that chapter as the next chapter and she’ll reread the contract I did think I was like did it just repeat what’s going on here I it was kind of that was kind of strange like why are they just going to read this contract all over again like we get it he’s going to beat you with canes which is also like it says he can’t leave a mark on you he has a rack a pool queue rack of wooden canes how does that not leave a mark maybe invisible stuff oh invisible parts of the body yeah maybe I don’t know you didn’t read that contract very well you just signed it uh my first stock down is having a nice car so okay yeah Christian Gray when he picks Anna up from the bar uh because she’s been vomiting and whatnot you know she wakes up in his bed in her Brun panties which is already like he went a little too far in My Mind by by doing that like you know if she’s covered in puke it’s like that’s unfortunate but like she’s sleeping in that I never stood yeah when there always like it’s so romantic or not romantic but like chivalrous to not have them sleep in their like who gives a [ __ ] if you sleep in your clothes it doesn’t matter chalous is like keeping her body autonomy to herself right I was I always was weird to me when people are like and I took your shoes and everything off it’s like just let them sleep in there it doesn’t matter I probably take the shoes off yeah you’re a tickle foot tickle guy though so I mean that basically like Tak shirt you know I got somewh but he says that he didn’t take Anna to her own home from the bar because he didn’t want to risk the leather in his car which that just gets like rolled right over yeah you’re a billionaire you can get that car reupholstered or you can light that car on fire and buy another one like no problem you can get that thing professionally cleaned for 500 bucks none of it makes sense but you know that’s just the downside of having a nice car honestly is like if you have a nice car stuff’s going to go bad my buddy just bought a really nice car and another friend said hey we your kid’s seat like you have a kid where’s this CH children’s seat in the back he goes no no he doesn’t come in my car he’s 2 years old it’ll make a mess you’re just limiting the kid’s options from where you can drive with me I have a nice crappy Mazda and a 60 lb mut who sheds and spits all over the windows drools everywhere I could care less I could care less Anna I’ll take you home make you nice and safe you can vomit all over my car I’ll just hose it out I’ll hose the H thing whole thing out I don’t care I got the tech tech deck or whatever it’s called you can just hose that thing out easy peasy so guys out there girls out there don’t have a nice car not when you’re young especially [ __ ] happens or if you have a dog honestly as someone that has a really nice car 2011 Nissan Sentra that we call the American muscle car specked out so much I’m not letting her throw up on the plastic Boler the fake suede I looked it up recently it’s almost valued at $2,000 on Blue Kelly Blue Book so yeah yeah we’re not letting that happen okay you’re a 2000 a you should uh start putting some contracts together oh yeah yeah uh what else you have for stock down normal guys stock down oh yeah so we have Christian Gray Ecentric abnormal billionaire in the book it was finally nice to see some normal guys and by normal guys I mean we have Jose who’s described as like the most attractive person ever but yeah he’s jacked he’s jacked attracted but Anna is not attracted to him in any way and Jose is this weird photographer rapist type which like okay and she’s like but I’ll always love you even though you did all that like stuff that was very very creepy the other night it’s fine [ __ ] Jose then we we see Anna with the the store owner son and Anna’s talking to Christian and she’s like thank God I forget his name Joey’s here let’s say his name was yeah I don’t remember Joey’s here I can go talk to a normal guy she goes up to Joey and literally the first thing Joey says is Anna you’re looking really good really good I was like what the [ __ ] going to sick of yeah you say hi Anna it’s been a while how are you like why are there all these rapy ass guys in this I don’t understand and she’s like it’s so nice to talk to you that you’re normal like that’s normal what the [ __ ] yeah it’s like it’s so nice talking you’re so normal and he’s like will you let me go on a date with you and she’s like ew no yeah also she was like he does this all the time it’s so funny it’s like what pardon like he’s asked you like 10 times on dates and you like this guy still and then the third one is uh her roommate’s brother and they’re like hugging and stuff and then like Christian’s like what’s going on over there like what’s who’s this [ __ ] dude like you’re hugging and then the guy’s like jealous at Christian and I’m like you don’t even know her what is this what is what’s going on here why are these and these are all normal people that she’s like I really like this guy he’s the best it’s like why yeah I I was going to comment on just like the super horrible men that are in this like Christian aside but Christian’s good I told you he’s the best guy B Christian aside which he has his own problems obviously was sexually assaulted as a youth and probably should seek therapy as opposed to like putting that on other women but that’s a different story but the you know the shopkeeper guy exactly exactly what you said he just immediately oh you’re looking so good it’s like buddy like just be normal you know it’s not that hard just to say hi how are you like how have things been whatever just be normal and then I was actually like really upset about the whole Jose you know I didn’t pick a character for this so we can skip through that but it was once again definitely not Jose because he’s supposed to be her friend and he knows that one he must know that one she’s a virgin or like doesn’t date and two is not a drinker so he waits he’s like a lurking waiting for her to take too many Margaritas which I’m sure he was pouring down her throat and then he sexually assaults her like he he tries to put his tongue down her throat and like doesn’t let her leave even though she’s said no like four times who would have known what would have happened if the night in white shining dildos Christian Gray didn’t show up and save her but Jose just does all this terrible stuff to her and she doesn’t black out like she remembers this and the next or two days later when they finally talk she’s like how could I ever be mad at you Jose I’m never mad at you he like this guy literally sexually assaulted you like and I’m not trying to blame the victim here at all I’m just saying that El James or whatever you got to reformat what’s going on here and also if I was Jose I’d be jumping off a bridge probably but if I wasn’t he’s like comes and talks her and he’s like oh so you’re dating him now it’s like well buddy you need to back up yeah you need to slow your role way my back like holy and she’s like if I told Kate Kate would give him the business but I’m just going to be friends with him all over again it’s like maybe Kate has a brain on her shoulders right now Jose uh you can turn yourself into the police and then we can maybe talk again after you’ve had your own 50 Shades of Gray experience in Riker’s

Island and also but can we real quick talk about I had this in my hates but can we talk about Jose’s adios moo comments did you notice this adios mi I’ve seen 1930 Disney movies that are less racist than this holy [ __ ] all his character is is this rapist that is that says adio Mio or whatever he says like what the he has like a catchphrase I’m like what’s going on here he’s worse than the Native Americans in the Peter Pan movie so [ __ ] Jose did you have any other stuck Downs no okay quickly I have a couple so I’m going to go through them quickly all right written consent she says it won’t hold up in court so what’s the point honestly like there’s this big elaborate contract but he can just violate it or they can both violate it oh I think that was more to like your mind type thing is that would hold up in I don’t think it was the consent part well whatever either way you know maybe I’m going to back off that because honestly I thought the idea of uh having a contract between a relationship and I’m not talking about a romantic relationship it’ just be nice for like a friend I live in a community that has a lot of old people and that’s the only people that play pickle ball with me but sometimes they try to like talk to me for a really long time or whatever the case is but I just want to play pickle ball so if I just had everyone sign a consent form just be like hey we’re not going to chatter like it’s just it’s just pickle ball no Small Talk small talk not all small Talk’s not allowed honestly I don’t care if your Bunyan’s acting up like I don’t need to hear about it so yeah maybe there is something to to written consent there um I also had for another stuck down all the Italian and Jewish mothers out there I mean honestly is probably all the mothers who greet their children by asking if they’ve eaten and then forcing an entire plate of Bol on them but Christian takes his too far give the woman a break every single time they eat he’s like you have to eat you have to eat you have to eat like we get it she has to eat that’s what you’ve said 20 times but I she kind of always continues to make the mistake of like putting too much food on her plate which is very confusing because the first time they meet up he doesn’t know what she wants for breakfast so he orders everything and he’s like I don’t like wasted food it’s like you ordered everything what if that he’s actually a cannibal and he’s fattening her up and then that’s why he’s buying the the like all the stuff when he goes to the gr the store he’s like I’m going to need some duct tape all the stuff to like murder someone she doesn’t even think twice about that she never even crosses her mind the M the book can get pretty good if like he’s actually just a cannibal he turned no no he turn into Buffalo Bill it puts the lotion on it skin or else it gets the hose again are you a big old fat person yeah that’d be wonderful so yeah it just you know I appreciate I appreciate when people come home and their parents Force the food on them but this guy was like forcing food on you and then being like eat it eat it it’s like relax dude and then probably my biggest stock down ever in the history of the BBC oh okay and the stock is already incredibly low it’s it’s not even a penny stock it’s it’s probably just like traded with like a couple of junkies behind a 7-Eleven but it’s using someone else’s toothbrush I knew that would be something you would like the most disgusting thing I mean Anna says and I quote it’s naughty and a thrill no honey it is neither or naughty or a thrill it is disgusting and maybe it’s naughty because like it’s actually dirty like it’s actually physically dirty and a thrill because you’re trying to get some sort of disease off someone else’s toothbrush but outside of that there’s quite literally nothing grosser than using someone else’s toothbrush I would use my finger I would use the bath mat I would use anything besides someone else’s toothbrush it’s disgusting like also he’s a billionaire why doesn’t he have extra I know he’s in a hotel but he doesn’t have like a couple extra toothbrushes just just in case yeah and she’s like she he got her literally everything but not a toothbrush that doesn’t make you know I mean like here’s this new set of clothes here’s all this it’s like that’d be something that you feel like you would get someone right% oh my God if I woke up in the morning after a hangover and like you know you’ve been puking all night your mouth feels terrible all that stuff and someone said here’s a fresh toothbrush i’ I’d be like you’re you are my night and shining armor that is my savior instead he’s like oh I just use this as an enema like now you can use it it’s disgusting chist absolutely disgusting did you have a favorite scene I like the contract no you didn’t get the [ __ ] out of here come on you have like two sex scenes to choose from pick one I like the vanilla sex I appreciated that there yeah there you go vanilla sex honestly was a um was smut you know what I mean but it was like it was like softcore porn smut okay this is real also we had to wait for a long time for it which I like once it they start coming yeah you do

nothing no once you have five of those scenes They Don’t Really hold as much weight you know where the first one is is the best yeah 100% additionally with that scene we had 6 hours of I don’t know grade three level writing going on like I told you that like Christian walked over to me I said oh my gosh he’s so hot I paused then he he handed me his contract it was like she was trying to be Hemingway in just like quick short terrible sentences but Hemingway has quick short wonderful sentences so uh yeah it’s right at my alley in terms of reading skill level so I had no issues with it but yeah but it felt like exactly what it was like some terrible fanfiction but then all of the sudden you get into these sexual scenes and she becomes yeah like she takes another level I’m trying to like they of a sports analogy where someone was doing nothing but then all of a sudden it’s like Brady you know having a tough game but then the last drive you need you need a touchdown and you’re just like holy [ __ ] all right now we now we are the bestl history all of a sudden you know so that’s what it was works like that so yeah I would say at least at that point I somewhat understood why this was such a huge hit because like oh okay like this is porn now like I get it because before that I was like this is just the worst thing ever so let’s get into some love hates what you love you mentioned it earlier the inner goddess that’s just a girl’s version of their penis right is that what that was uh I think it was a little bit more do you just replace it with my dick I think it works she would be like my inner goddess is screaming right now like when any time like he did something that was attractive to her you just replace it with my dick yeah or it’s like my inner goddess is telling me I need to do this if you just say my dick is like you got to [ __ ] get in there you know that’s it makes a lot of sense cuz I couldn’t understand what inner goddess was the whole time but once I figured that it’s what it meant yeah I I got it I understood it the only time she would say like whenever she said it I just thought of the like Green Goddess salad dressing at Trader Joe’s so it totally that is it’s delicious it’s honestly delicious salad um once again it was like that smut stuff where they say like you know about their feelings and whatnot and I I it was it was a little silly it was a little silly to me I wasn’t I had absolutely zero loves so you can continue I already went over the best way to get out of the contract was urinating yeah you’re just maybe your love is just figuring out loopholes and contracts would have would have been great if gray was a murderer I already said that great names I mean we had uh Anastasia steel that’s a that’s kind of a fire name and then we had Christian Gray I’ll give that to mean those are great names those are [ __ ] awesome names so yeah if if some if I said hey hey guys I have something for you it involves Anastasia steel and Christian Gray someone would be like oh is it a porn you’d be like it is how did you know this book is not good if it’s like Bernie like uh sus Johnson yeah exactly they’re not well Johnson Johnson could work Johnson could work that looks like a giant Johnson uh yeah so actually I’ll I’ll take that back I did I did think the character names we got one yeah that’s all I had well let’s get into the hates um well I’ve talked about the pros it was terrible none of the characters had any background or story or flesh outness so the fact that Jose was so singular I guess wasn’t it was just everyone was that it wasn’t the most racist thing ever but it was pretty pretty terrible yeah I mean there was there was nothing from anybody in the first 10 hours of who they are like the Christian grade we probably had the most about which is that he has a family he’s adopted his mom was there and he was sexually ass assaulted at the age of 15 by his mom’s friend he was probably the most fleshed out character which makes sense but the problem was that no one else was any way in the least built up as a character or anything so terrible like we learned more about his car than we did about the main character being Anastasia steel also for me I hated like the descriptions in it were God awful absolutely God awful and repeated like she used the same thing at least three times I counted that she said the muscles deep and dark of inside of me clench in the most delicious way what the [ __ ] does that mean if you had an inner goddess you would know but you just don’t that’s your problem delicious this doesn’t fit there and like to use it three four times and she kept saying delicious for other things like he looked at me and it was delicious it was like what maybe that’s some British thing cuz it is a British author writing as an American it’s like they say uh biscuits instead of cookies which doesn’t make any sense crisps instead of chips which actually crisps makes a lot more uh what else J I mean the thing is I also kind of expected the writing not to be that great so it wasn’t like you know I was shocked by her I already said it too I just really didn’t understand what if I would have liked Christian being either a bad guy or he really likes her because it reminds him of his mom or you know something like that’s like there’s some sort of inkling of why she’s it doesn’t like that’s the whole story rests on it what do you know we don’t understand why I read just like the Wikipedia entry for How This Ends there’s like four paragraphs and the first three paragraphs are up until the point that we read but we’re only halfway through so I was very confused but it said basically after all this contract stuff goes back and forth and they like don’t decide on it Anastasia says like pretty much you know all right let’s give this BDSM thing a try so I can see what it’s all about but it says then that that he beats her with a belt and she’s like no not for me and then they break up and she’s sad that’s the end of the book that’s according to Wikipedia what what the end is all right so honestly I’m really glad we stopped if that is the case because yikes also hate for me is the Gasping a lot of gasping going on I can’t remember the last time I gasp like just then that was the last time but before that never know every single thing at the beginning is like Christian Gray showed up and I gasped or like he touched my hair and I gasped or he took me to this restaurant and they serve Venison and I gasped it’s like okay I I got it you’re doing a lot of gasping and the white wine always being good come on why why wine sucks you know Wine’s delicious how dare you being like the reason why I come here is because the wine is always good it’s like you can go anywhere and the wine is good just buy a good bottle but he paired it correctly kid he paired it perfectly so you just didn’t understand that I did I understood it yeah my last one and we’ve already kind of talked about it but the inner monologue like too much with the goddess you know it was a lot of Christian Gray is and then fill in with something totally normal it’s like Christian Gray is standing in my doorway Christian Gray is making a joke Christian Gray is playing the piano Christian Gray is beating me within an inch of my life it’s it’s like all of that stuff I was like okay we get it you like this guy and he’s a billionaire but you also know he’s a sadistic [ __ ] so it like she just kept hitting the same beats over and over and over and over again and I use beats for a reason I think if it were like a 6-hour book if you just made this into a hatchet if it was just Hatchet just Hatchet you made I mean it’s the same writing level you would hatchet with sex in it yeah it’s not that bad Hatchet was like what six hours hat it with sex he’s a 13-y old boy he’s stranded alone in the woods you’re the one that brought up they should be testing things out early and drinking early kid that’s you I didn’t say that all he has is a turtle and a decaying corpse of pil say the writing level and the length are the two things that I’m I’m I’m talking about there fair enough and you bring the turtle into there I kind want to get a little wild with the turtle you know you know me I mean what did someone say length cuz Christian Gray is holy moly good God how am I supposed to fit that where when

how you’ve got mail some Ling questions I had can I ask you a personal question yes would you be open to a subd relationship not right now in your life but at some point in your life and I’m not saying with a billionaire and you get all this stuff but if say that there was someone that you really liked and they said hm I want to be in a subd relationship would you and is there a side that you would prefer that is a very personal question but we we’re an open book here unended at the BBC uh I already told you that I wouldn’t couldn’t be Christian GG because you’d have to have such an a confidence about yourself in order to be that person yeah so you’re a sub is what you’re saying I would have to be a sub and then and I don’t I hate when I don’t have control so I would hate that either so either way I don’t think work for me I’d try probably I could give it a try but I would hate it I’m sure yeah what about you uh I feel like at a point in my life I would have said like yeah sure I’ll be open to it but once again the Dom side is just like I don’t really I don’t want to hit anybody like I’m I’m good you know it doesn’t that doesn’t do anything for me but tickling people when they’re what about that well sure have you ever seen that documentary like about the those guys that tickle people and video it it’s called like I want to say it’s called tickled or something yeah it’s I I didn’t see it and I’ve seen a lot of those I haven’t seen it cuz it’s so weird I was like no way but no I don’t think I could be in the Dom side just cuz like I pardon me like I would have done what he did when he tied her up and then was like all right I’m going to go get a drink you know I’m going to go watch football like that that that’s the extent of the the Dom yeah for sure and then on the sub side I’d be like sure I I’ll try being a sub but then like two seconds and I’d be like no safe word safe word no I I’m you start peeing I don’t like having my hands tied up like I’m good I’m all set start peeing my pants so yeah I think we’re in the same we’re in the same place Anastasia is in journalism School correct I thought she was doing English whatever English she’s doing a lot of writing and reading and papers and whatnot the year is 2011 how does she not have a computer or more importantly an email address she like needs to get this computer from him and she’s like I usually use my my roommates or I go to the library I understand that maybe in like the early 2000s but by 2011 computers are relatively cheap like it’d be the first thing you would buy you know I can I can see not having a computer at that point still but not an email is p you have to have an email to be in college yeah she’s like what is this he’s like it’s an email address it’s like oh wow what is that I think we misremember because before smartphones you had to have a computer imagine you in college and anytime your roommate needed to do something be like hey can I borrow your computer be like buddy come on have you seen these Keys they’re covered in frosting if you know what I’m saying you didn’t you didn’t have a uh a beat pad at that point um that’s a luxury in life yeah that’s a luxury yeah last one hard limits very important part of the contract no poop stuff no pee stuff all that stuff hard limits you know what’s your lowest hard limit lowest as in like the least important like obviously no PE stuff no poop stuff no stabbing people those are the high levels when I start crying it have to end you know oh okay yeah that’s that’s pretty high actually honestly good for you you’re going that far they’d be like no one respects you and i’ start crying so that’ be it you know that’ be it’ be over you’re never going to be anything in life and them out safe word Salamander salamander for me it’d be more of a bedtime thing like be all right I have to be in bed by 10: you know what I mean like this all has to occur before 10 like when in the contract when it said that she had to get a solid 8 hours of sleep I was like yes please like let me you can’t be doing any this with the lights are on right when like Jesus is watching the lights it’s got to be dark outside I mean what are we talking about here right like so you’re saying it only can have occur between like 8:00 p.m. and and 9:30 yeah we have we have like one hour it really is it’s a window it’s but not on Monday night Monday Night Football obviously so we and Thursdays so I mean those are out so Monday Thursday are out and Sundays are obviously out too and then colge Saturdays so basically it’s Friday night 8 8 to 9:30 if that’s if I didn’t go out the happy hour you know before and you know a couple other things so yeah there a lot of we’re down to it yeah all right Keith would you uh recommend the book I didn’t think it was as bad as you thought it was I wouldn’t it’s not really from me I’m not finishing it obviously so I didn’t really think but I did think it Go went by very quickly like it wasn’t like one of those books I’m like holy [ __ ] when is this going to end oh yeah I would definitely not recommend this book it was honestly terrible uh Jesus Christ it was I’m really glad we read it because it’s it is funny to talk about it’s it’s like a joke it honestly felt like a joke the whole time reading it like there’s no way and it’s like a joke the whole world has against you because it’s super successful you know there’s three movies there’s several books I think there’s like six books there’s like she wrote three books and then she wrote three more books about it from Christian Gray’s perspective so good on her she made a lot of money from going from like writing Twilight fanfiction to taking this to a fanfiction website and then being like no sorry this is too hardcore for Twilight fanfiction to starting her own website and then turning it into a self-published book to then getting picked up and all this stuff like really good for her her therapist must be must be paid very well and speaking about doctors Yu anyone’s yeah no I I won’t but there’s there’s some questionable behavior in this speak about doctors Dr Drew Pinsky who I’m not saying is a great doctor or whatnot but you know I I grew up on love line so Dr Drew is somewhat a piece of my childhood he commented that the book was quote horribly written in addition to being disturbing but stated that if the book enhances women’s real life sex lives and intimacy then so be it I think that sums it up really well honestly it’s like okay it is horribly that’s what I was trying to say is disturbing if people get something out of it then good for them yeah exactly so so yeah I wouldn’t recommend it but at the same time I’m definitely not the uh the target demo all right Keith what do we got coming up next 69 episode 69 hey we made it we made it we we said as a joke if we got to episode 69 We Do 50 Shades and here we are talking about guys beating people with canes we have an author coming on next but after he hears this though he might not might not show up but the uh the deadly deal by Jay Le it’s a new book coming out and we’re going to read it and then release it the day it comes out so we got a little sneak preview oh great yeah yeah so we’ll be talking to Jay Lee we got deadly deal it’s I mean I started reading it it’s kind of fun it’s fun I like it I like that good to hear pharmaceutical Mitch RP we have another book after that right we got two two in the hopper and then we’re going to do anxious people by Frederick Bachman Bachman Frederick Bachman yeah and that was a uh a listener suggested that to us and uh we are men of the people deadly deal and uh anxious people coming up and that’ll get us away from the smut unfortunately but uh but it’s been real 50 Shades El James you’re an interesting individual I respect you but uh thanks but no thanks Keith on to the deadly deal I’ll talk to you next time and en enjoy your uh your weekend and good luck with uh football stuff you as well get it up bye now