How to Fix Strip Clubs and Make Them Enjoyable for Everyone
If you’ve ever found yourself on a bachelor (or bachelorette party) you’ve likely partaken in some sort of strip club or adult activities. There is always a rallying cry from the ‘strip club’ guys (or girls) in the group, you know the type, the ones that just absolutely love strip clubs. The idea of going to the strip club has always been a lot more fun than the actual experience, which can be best summarized as: uncomfortable, expensive, and never worth it.
As a good catholic boy, the typical experience at a strip club goes something like this:
1. Pre-strip club – general excitement and buzz around the room, a nervous energy, ‘This is gonna be fun right? Right..?’
2. Entering strip club:
3. Shame/Guilt/Rationalization – After standing around uncomfortably for 10 minutes, the shame starts to kick in. ‘I can’t believe I’m here, this place is so grimey, although the buffet doesn’t look half bad.’ Then comes the guilt and rationalization, ‘I feel so bad for these girls, although they are making a lot of money, better than hard labor right?’ Although what they do could be called hard labor… I’ll see my way out.
4. Drink excessive amounts of alcohol – only thing you can do from here is intake massive amounts of potent potables to calm the nerves/pretend you’re having a good time.
5. Blackout spend way too much
This is how it goes every time. Maybe it’s just me, but I think there needs to be a fix to the strip club paradigm. Here at the Buddy Book Club, we don’t just point out problems and sit back, we come up with solutions.
At the BBC Strip Club you get to pay for whatever service you need. And what is it that you need? A companion for the night. That’s right, just someone to be nice to you.
At the BBC Strip Club you pay for:
Someone to laugh at your shitty jokes – this one really hits home
Someone to pay you nice compliments – I’d kill for someone to compliment the new khakis I bought
Married or have a tough boss?
Have someone tell you you’re right and let you win the argument – this may be the biggest fantasy of all of them
Yell at someone and not get fired – Let me tell you something about TPS reports
A glutton for punishment? We got you covered
Pay for someone to yell and harass you – I would pay a lot of money for Camille Vasquez to berate me
Also, just so we’re clear, similar to a strip club, getting aroused while you’re being complimented or being told you’re a worthless piece of shit is not frowned upon. The BBC has never been about ‘yucking’ someone else’s ‘yum’.
Sounds like we have fixed the strip club problem! Or maybe I just need a therapist… nah this strip club idea is the answer. So, come one, come all to the BBC Strip Club: a brothel of emotions.
For more insightful solutions to problems check out our other blogs and to listen to the buddies breaking down some books check out latest episodes.
