The Goonies – MOVIE – Episode 55

The Buddies never say die! The Buddies watch everyone’s favorite kid-adventure film, The Goonies. There was some dissenting opinions on this one, but the Buddies were able to come together and pay homage to Rube Goldberg, breaking stuff, and Rosalita the housekeeper. So dust off the treasure map, warm up your truffle shuffle, put on your ‘slick shoes’, and join us as we rewatch this childhood classic.

Intro: (0:00-2:05)
Stock Up/Down (2:06-21:22)
Love/Hate (21:23-33:11)
Studio Notes/Reviews (33:12-37:12)
Conclusion (37:13-39:10)

Next Book: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN by CORMAC McCARTHY

Next Movie: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

Transcript for SEO Purposes 🙂

book club I’m Dylan here with the two
add Keith what’s up buddy hello hello
we’re breaking down some box office
bangers and this week we’ll be
discussing a 1985 seminal film the
Goonies P.S I think One-Eyed Willy was
also seminal but in a different way
anywho if you’d like to recommend a book
or movie for us to read or watching and
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download And subscribe Keith The Goonies
for me for me I can only speak about
myself this was one of the most
important movies of my youth we’ve
talked in a previous episode I think
there’s a Sandlot about how you know
there’s a point when you just had a few
different vhs’s lying around well The
Goonies happen to be one of the few at
my grandparents place in Minneapolis
Minnesota they had the Goonies
they had Robin Hood the Disney movie and
I can’t really think about of any other
ones and they also lived in a very
sketchy part of the city where it was
pretty much like just don’t go outside
so when we visited them it was like all
right well we’re either playing War like
the card game or we’re sitting down on
the couch watching Robin Hood and
Goonies and back-to-back features so big
one for me nostalgic for me from my
understanding this is your first time
hanging out with The Goonies right yeah
this it’s the Buddy’s time down here
okay up there it’s their time and
somebody’s time this is the first time
saying it obviously it’s a little
different as an adult seeing this but oh
no don’t do not don’t start with me all
right you I can come at hitch because
that came out in the last 15 years but
you can’t I’ll have my Vengeance in this
way for the next
all right well then let’s get into it
I’m ready for it I’m I’m here for your
pugilism stock up what do you got stock
up being selfish and guilt-tripping
okay I mean that’s what this whole movie
is about right it’s just like every
speech and every single part of what
Mikey is saying is basically like I have
to move so you guys need to stay here
and risk your lives like that’s what
every single thing is I’m about to move
so you guys all follow me down to this
treasure thing he even has a speech he’s
like the next time we take a test it’ll
be in some other school and the next
time we like you know look at the sky
I’ll be some other Sky different town
it’s like no that’s just you Mikey no
one else is having this what are you
talking about everyone else is moving
everyone’s in the neighborhood oh every
single person’s moving yeah which I mean
we’re not gonna I don’t think we can
I don’t think we can really chop this up
too much because then it’ll reveal that
it just comes apart in in tatters but
yeah they’re building a golf course
Trent and his dad are building or
building a golf course on this area of
Astoria Oregon and there’s 50 homes I
think 50 homes are affected and for some
reason everyone here is somewhat
affected because they all live in
goondocks or goon streets or something
or goon something I don’t know yeah they
all just live next to each other I guess
and they’re all they’re all gonna have
to move the school’s getting blown up
for the the eighth hole or something I
don’t know but yes my understanding is
that everyone’s moving they’re all going
at different places but yeah I mean I do
agree with you in the sense that he’s
Mikey does a great job he’s a natural
born leader in that he’s able to get
people to literally sacrifice their
lives because they’re gonna have to move
it’s like
it’s like the next time we’ll be looking
up at a different Sky it’s like no Mikey
then next time we’ll all be dead because
there are the fratellis chasing us they
have weapons and we’re in this ancient
catacomb where there’s booty traps
everywhere so but yeah he’s he’s able to
lead what can you say also it’s uh
they’re kind of like the woe is me story
meanwhile they hire a maid to clean
their mansion well slow down don’t get
ahead of us here okay don’t get ahead
but I’m just talking about being that
the selfish Guild tripping part the maid
finds the diamonds and is instead of
being like let me pocket these she’s
like here you go and they’re like great
we’re taking these see you later
get back to work
seriously all right going on I didn’t
realize though I thought it was just
Mikey okay but anyways yeah I’m pretty
sure it’s everybody my first stock up is
a song created specifically for a movie
so as as a kid I loved loved The Goonies
are good enough great great song anytime
that there’s a movie and a famous person
or whatever the case comes on to make a
song that’s specific for that it’s
always fire I mean we got danger zone
Kenny Loggins for the Top Gun movie
Everything I Do I Do It For You Brian
Adams for Robin Hood prince of Thieves
Kevin Costner one of my all-time
favorites another VHS I owned as a child
people can shoot on that all they want I
think it’s a phenomenal film a
never-ending story just a great an
actual great song they then used in
stranger things and became a hit all
over again Can You Feel the Love Tonight
Elton John Lion King Disney movies are
tough because like obviously they’re
gonna be musicals because like Phil
Collins and the Tarzan is just like
crushes it Elton John obviously crushes
it yeah for that
um you know we have Footloose there’s so
many they’re all and they’re all great
so anytime that there’s a movie and they
tell me there’s a song specifically made
for this movie I’m in for it yes Cindy
Lopper also uh Girls Just Want to Have
Fun one of my top three songs of all
time Cyndi Lauper was the first person I
saw in concert Cindy Lopper and Harry
Connick Jr what’s up what’s up so uh
yeah nice yeah I’m I’m all in for it
stock up Cindy upper stock up Goonies
stock up music
not man I don’t hate that I think that’s
on point I agree what else you got
breaking [ __ ] stock up
this is a good one I like this the whole
movie basically taught us just go around
breaking [ __ ] and good things will
happen yeah they’re going to the attic I
mean they’re already just destroying the
house I didn’t really understand in
order to like open the gate they’re just
like what is it called when you like set
up stuff to like in order to open don’t
get ahead of my next stock up okay but
like they leave the sprinkler on they’re
just like destroying the yard in order
to open the gate which is like three
feet away from them I was like wait what
and then they’re like proceed to go to
the attic and just start breaking [ __ ]
I’m like these are all like expensive
art pieces hey chunk can you hold this
for a second and then yeah so they like
they’re breaking [ __ ] they find the the
map so obviously breaking shit’s good
and just drawing frames are good then
they break their brother’s bike they go
in they find a water jug just throw it
out in the ground like glass water jug
glass all over the floor but that leads
us to the basement let’s just destroy
the [ __ ] of this basement they kick that
out they go down they start looting
corpses and start stealing [ __ ] breaking
everything there they go on this Old
Ship they just start destroying the [ __ ]
out of that they go to these caves they
start throwing Dynamite everywhere I’m
like what’s going there’s nothing
there’s no consequences or any of what
they’re doing and they’re just throwing
everything on their path I was like all
right just rewards no consequences
clumsiness clumsiness stock up yeah and
clumsiness yeah apparently okay I love
it uh yeah so my next stop up you were
talking about before is is Rube Goldberg
the cartoonist yeah yeah so uh the the
gate you’re talking about is is a Rube
Goldberg machine and it turns out not
only The Goonies obsessed with these but
as are pirates from the 1600s because
One-Eyed Willy had a couple on his ship
as well as like in the in the cavernous
system they had there the bowling ball
situation which fascinating that all
that stuff still worked after all those
years you know the cloth the clothing on
all the Pirates was still intact after
400 years uh it’s it’s really amazing
it’s like good good for those pirates
they were very well designed good
engineer but yeah I feel like Rube
Goldberg’s had a Renaissance in this
time between this uh do you ever see
peewee’s big adventure no oh okay uh
great movie but yeah he has one for like
making breakfast that was super fun and
then they went away for a bit but now at
least when I you know Peru’s read it
here and there
uh you see some like super crazy
intricate ones there was that like Honda
commercial that had one I think it was
like a Super Bowl ad that was just like
all the parts of a Honda that then like
got put together I think it was Honda
got put together and like that was a
cool machine and then yeah they’re
they’re making another Renaissance so
good for Rube Goldberg was one cartoon
that then sparked all this all this
stuff and they’ve been in like music
videos and stuff like that it’s great I
love I love a good Rube Goldberg yeah
what’s the book we read imagination game
or something game or oh inheritance
inheritance game yeah where that one of
the kids is big into those I wasn’t
visualizing it I guess the right way but
yeah anyways yeah it was hard to
visualize anything but that Focus was
terrible I can’t believe someone funded
her to make three of those Terrible
Things yeah they’re pretty well praised
dude yeah yeah people are so stupid all
right let’s get back to us being stupid
uh what else do you have for stock up
last one was just being able to speak
and read Spanish a mouth good for him
yeah a little surprising in the middle
of Oregon you know that’s the coastal
town they’re like oh we need someone to
translate this Spanish for this maid who
doesn’t speak it I mean I didn’t know
Oregon was known for its wealth and uh
Spanish population but hey you know what
I guess it is and then the whole map is
in Spanish so you need to be able to
read it which what are they eight or ten
I could barely read English at that
point this guy’s bilingual they’re
probably like 12 times 13. I don’t
really know kids ages but either way I
mean pretty impressive and yeah just in
general I wish I could read or speak or
do anything other than English and I can
barely do that so there it is yeah I
mean mouth said he was fluent and at
first you think he’s joking but then he
I mean he’s obviously fluent considering
he knows words like cocaine and heroin
and drugs right you know and important
ones sexual things back to breaking
stuff did you also have a chuckle at the
uh statue breaking the penis stuff going
on there that’s my mom’s favorite part
yeah that was uh that was something oh
come on live a little key I mean maybe
that’s why I wasn’t allowed to watch it
as a kid it was too much profanity
that’s straight pornography yeah pretty
much yeah my next stock up is terrible
acting so all right honestly overall I
thought the kids did a great job yeah I
really do I think Corey Feldman alone
was super good data great but there’s
two minutes while The Goonies are under
the wishing well that we get a perfect
storm of bad acting and bad script but
but it works for some reason it works
it’s it’s some of the most memorable
lines of the movie in my mind When Corey
Feldman’s talking about the the coin
that he’s gonna take he’s like this is
my way this one is my wish and it didn’t
come true so I’m taking it back I’m
taking them all back and then right
after that you get the Mikey line that
you talked about like up there it’s
their time it’s their time up there down
here it’s our time it’s our time down
here
uh and then it’s culminated with the
best was when Troy says Andy you Goonies
it’s just like so bad but I looked up
top quote those were all tacos I was
like wait what why what I don’t get it
yeah what exactly that’s why it works
for some reason if you asked me about
The Goonies and said can you remember
any lines those would be the first ones
I would remember for sure and it’s
terrible every time I watch it and it
makes me laugh every time I watch it so
what else do you need all right I guess
Chris Columbus good for you it’s usually
like you can’t handle the truth
pipelines not uh like lines that don’t
make any sense in the context of the
movie in any way but all right fair
enough what about Goonies Never Say Die
are you a big fan of oh I have but I
think my neck stock down it ties right
into that all right well let’s let’s go
into stock down then what do you have
yeah talking in the third person stock
down there’s a lot of this going on and
frankly it just never made sense it
didn’t make sense at all okay goadies
never die one of these never said sorry
and what context is as possibly being
used previously that that has become a
term where they need to reference and
say whoa we Never Say Die here and they
say die plenty of times or we’re going
to get they’re screaming the whole movie
what are you talking about
yeah like as they’re building the Rube
Goldberg machine it’s like I don’t know
should we put this bowling ball on here
I feel like we might die it’s like Chuck
Goonies Never Say Die you know yeah do
the Truffle Shuffle and then Rudy a guy
Sean Aston is is talking to the girl
that’s playing piano and she keeps on
messing up and he’s like you’re a goonie
and Goonies always make mistakes just
don’t make any more mistakes I was like
wait what
that literally that doesn’t make any
sense it does makes perfect sense he’s
saying your goonie Goonies make mistakes
it’s okay to make mistakes but now
you’ve reached your limit you know yeah
we always have it anymore don’t ever
make any more mistakes or else we’ll be
flat even you know he’s always coming up
with a joke that didn’t even land in the
in the movie no one even gave him a
smile there they’re like we’re gonna cut
that I’m sure and then cut it tomorrow
lastly data data is just Inspector
Gadget right he’s just oh yeah he’s like
go go data slick shoes but he’s talking
the third person the whole time so I
mean I guess Inspector Gadget does the
same thing well data talks to himself
well I respect that pinches of power
pictures of power very important that
was one of the dumbest thing I’ve heard
about it I guess as a kid pinches of
power no where the little Toy Story dog
somehow caught up 80 pound boy from
hitting the spike whoa slow down dude
come on it was also kind of interesting
there were bungee spikes like Vietnam
and he’s Vietnamese I feel like that was
a little bit a little bit much you know
a little in the nose no just me well he
wasn’t planting them he saved himself
from him because he just he’s aware of
it you know maybe yeah he knew he knew
ahead of time all right that’s fair my
first stock down is helping people move
so I mean the Stock’s terrible no one’s
buying this stock anyways there’s
nothing worse than one have you have to
help someone move or when someone like
asks you and then like doesn’t really
hook you up with the necessary pizza and
beers which is really the key you know
if I’m gonna help someone move there
better be copious amounts of pizza and
beers but our friend Rosalita here she’s
just being straight taken advantage of I
mean she’s told that she has to
basically pack and move all of this
giant house and they have the weekend to
do it like the the house is getting
demolished on Monday and then on top of
that it’s like okay once you actually
finish that then you have to clean
everything wait why do you have to clean
it the if it’s getting to Boston that’s
what the mom said she said I want my
house clean so they can blow it up if
it’s getting demolished I want it clean
so it’s it’s actually like I don’t know
some weird form of slavery or something
they got going on with her because
it’s just mind [ __ ] like you not only
have to do all this [ __ ] but then
afterwards you have to clean it up even
though it’s completely unnecessary just
having someone do something that is
completely unnecessary and like you said
at the end she finds all the jewels and
no one’s like hey good on you Rosalita
good on you it’s like no get back to
work the house isn’t done yet they keep
her so locked up they’re like I don’t
care that we have the house back you
need you now need to pack everything up
and then unpack it you know yeah she’s
like pledging the goonie frat or
something don’t help people move and if
you feel like you’re being taken
advantage of call a helpline because
Rosalita needs help in this one just
because the mom like hurt her arm she’s
like I you know I hurt my arm probably
rubbing on that favorite part of the
statue so much
naturally naturally I wonder if if the
actor was arm was broken or if that was
actually in the script like broken arm
person
well it was like a 120 page script which
is like super long for a movie like this
there was a ton that found its way to
The Cutting Room floor so I wouldn’t be
surprised if maybe there was a backstory
where the bowling ball from the Rube
Goldberg machine like broke her arm and
she was like I’m gonna die and Mikey’s
like goonies never saved guys I’m not a
out here Save Me by Ace but I hated the
ending where like we just meet their
parents for the first time and it’s like
supposed to be this big oh my God you
survive it’s like I don’t even know who
these random people are what do you what
are we introducing these people now for
what gives a [ __ ] yeah I think data’s
dad was a bad guy in one of the Lethal
Weapon movies he looked familiar he
looked very familiar yeah they have a
nice they have a nice moment together
yeah I guess you’re my greatest
invention oh much nicer moment if we
knew who that guy was before you know
you can’t just be like what a great
little father-son story here what if his
dad’s like beats him at night you know
we don’t know that he could we’re gonna
assume that everyone isn’t a loving okay
I guess so but even Mountain that wasn’t
established sir I could have whatever I
can believe whatever I wanted that they
don’t establish it in the movie that’s
that’s very true that you’re allowed to
do that all right did you have any of
the stock towns yep you’re gonna like
this one okay we’re gonna hit it Josh
Brolin being able to ride stock down
being able to ride yeah you may know
where this is going but Josh Brolin’s
character doesn’t pass the driving test
yet man yeah that’s basically why the
whole story oh my God I know where
you’re going with this one why did he
fail his driving test d-man why because
he drives a motorcycle I put it to you
this way if he rode the rest of his life
really became the best he could be it
right he’d never ride like I ride sir
never
uh this is like a take your hottest take
for like Wall Street two is that what it
is
do you even ride bro right anyone that’s
listening there’s continue to listen to
this point which I don’t know why you
would but check out with the walls rate
2 clip it’s called Uh you ride Mr Moore
on YouTube you’ll understand but anyways
yeah that’s why he failed that’s some
bad writing and also is Josh Brolin 16
going on 40. how old is this dude look
he honestly looks great yeah he’s about
to film zakario I thought I was like
what’s going on what’s happening right
now I love his outfit too it’s it’s just
so 80s it’s wonderful he’s got the band
the red bandana tied around his head the
cut off sweatshirt yeah the full length
sweatpants with then the like short
running shorts on top of them yeah which
like why I don’t I also like they’re
like they’re painting him as like the
everyday man whereas like The Jock as
they wanted like the varsity jackets
like no the guy that’s resting like this
complete Hardo outfit is is more of the
jock looking than the the guy that’s
walking around like Gene in a jacket on
you know an advisor like the loser golf
bro yeah well talking about Josh Brolin
my next stock down is mowing lawns so as
a way of making money because in this
universe I don’t think you get any money
from it because according to Mikey brand
did
376 lawnmower jobs to pay for his bike
and it just seems like a seriously not
profitable line of business I mean how
much do you think that bike cost so
let’s say in 1985 dollars even if it’s a
super nice bike maybe 500 bucks like
that would be a crazy nice bike that
means he’s getting like a dollar fifty
per loan so are these like two by two
patches of grass that someone’s just
like literally crumpling up a dollar
into a wad and like flicking it at his
face because I I have no idea how you
can mow
376 Lawns and I’m in Rosalita you know
at the same jobs yeah exactly exactly
it’s like what’s going on with blue
collar jobs in this country club of
Astoria Oregon I just I don’t understand
it imagine the guy who’s like the
Greenskeeper for this golf course he
must make like four dollars a year
is no one appreciates a good lawnmower
in this so yeah yeah you know when I was
a kid I thought that was like the kids
who had a paper route I was like okay
you make a couple bucks here and there
but I was like the people who had
lawnmower gigs oh that was where you
make real money because you get like 20
bucks a lot or something like that no
way not in this world not not in Goonies
World also Chris Columbus you know you
did a great job writing this in my
opinion but why couldn’t you just said
76 that’s a lot of Lawns I would have
been fine with 76 if it was like oh you
know I can understand how much that
matters to him but 376. you’re a grown
man Chris have you never mowed a lawn do
you not understand how much that costs
do not have a lawn do you live in
Phoenix Arizona where the lines don’t
exist especially because we’re talking
about the Pacific Northwest here so
there’s a lot of rain I mean we’re
probably getting some healthy Lawns this
is no it has a lot of sloping lines
which would be really annoying yeah
everything’s quite difficult and the
lawnmowers then weren’t as nice as the
lawnmowers now all the money would just
go into keeping the lawnmower up just
the gas alone
all right let’s get into love what do
you love about The Goonies come on
what’d you love about The Goonies key I
like mouth speaking Spanish in the maid
yeah
that’s good that was so good I mean you
could tell this was an inspiration for a
lot of future movies and shows and
things like that with kids in it so I
could definitely see why like even some
of the music Parts which I thought was a
little bit over the top at times but you
could tell like some of the music
sounded like it was from stranger things
or something like that you know like
where they’d start just playing like a
mysterious like music and you’re like oh
this yeah this kind of checks out yeah
for sure I mean you just I mean one of
my lives is just a good Adventure movie
which is what it is it’s it’s a great
adventure movie for kids it’s got it all
it’s got Chase scenes scary case filled
with booty traps this is where you’re
supposed to say booby traps I said
that’s what I said booby trap I didn’t
really get the joke booby and booty are
both you’re saying like it’s accurate
like it is a trap that for the Pirates
it’d be funny if you were saying
something that was similar to the word
booby because boobies a funny word or
and booty is a funny word but both are
like kind of
body parts words right so they’re both
funny but you’re not it’s not making it
more funny by saying one way other you
know what I mean so you think it’d be
funny they’re like oh like it’s there’s
titty traps in here yeah it’s like no
they’re booby traps it’s like oh right
right that would be better or if it was
like gritty trapped and you call them
titty traps then it’s funnier because
it’s a regular word turned into a word
you’re not supposed to say it was also
in this movie there’s just the right
amount of people getting hit in the nuts
I think we get like two or three which
is which is perfect for me you know it’s
it’s like The Simpsons episode when
Homer wins for man getting hit in the
face with football or whatever the case
is we’re in the nuts of football I
forget but it’s it’s just the right
amount of nut shots when you’re a kid
you get a good laugh then you can move
on and as an adult I also enjoy a good
nutshot uh what else did you love I
don’t know how many other lives
you go ahead all right go [ __ ] yourself
yeah yeah yeah naturally I loved the
character intros the opening scene in
this I thought was great I thought it
was a great way to to set it up I mean
having the police chase going on in the
background like as you get introduced to
every character I thought was a fun way
to do it chunk for some reason I mean he
obviously loves police chases and
whatnot but can tell the character he is
just by him smushing his milkshake and
Pizza on the window there he got a nice
little gag with Corey Feldman the water
squirting in his face enjoyed that I
didn’t really understand Steph’s I don’t
know if you remember that scene but
she’s like on the pier when the car
drives by
and she’s like bobbing her head in some
water and like pulls out a crab just
like a giant crab
it was so quick and it just didn’t make
a lot of sense she’s just like in the
water and all of a sudden she comes up
she’s got a crap in her hand like what
it’s like she’s also not into the movie
for 30 minutes right I feel like I
forgot that she was even in the intro
scene yeah she she has an intro she
doesn’t have a lot of lines and there’s
you know there’s some Sexual Energy
going on there between her and mouth we
like that we like that uh I thought it
was a fun and creative way of doing
character intros while also like kind of
starting it off with a bang with this
police chase because after that it slows
down a bit until the kids start going on
their Journey yeah what’d you hate we’ll
get into it I was gonna skip it just
because I don’t like the their tone here
I guess the biggest thing is so it’s
just a coincidence that the bad guys are
at that property they don’t know about
the treasure they’re just what are they
there for I don’t really understand it’s
just like an old rundown summer
restaurant that they’re using water view
like the best real estate possible like
yeah yeah we’ll just go to this like
shitty place on the water that’s perfect
I’m not in the summer and it’s a summer
restaurant that’s probably hasn’t been
used in a while it’s not the summer
they’re like in water the whole time
wouldn’t they be freezing yeah they I’m
sure it was very cold but uh it’s just a
hideout like what do you ever saw like
The Hardy Boys or something like that I
mean that’s just what bad guys do
Scooby-Doo I mean they’re just a nice
coincidence that that that’s like
exactly the same place that they have to
go to suspend disbelief okay that movie
was gonna be literally a treasure hunt
but with like all these different
monsters and different things that pop
up so the the brothers just a mentally
disabled person that’s what that was
sloth yeah hey you guys it’s just is a
normal human that’s that’s yeah sloth is
just a guy he got dropped on his head a
couple times you know I was like like so
we’ve only been making fun of this guy
this whole time I thought it was a
monster
oh like in pop culture yeah yeah oh wow
all right so yeah that’s what I thought
like when I saw that I thought he was a
bad guy and I assumed the whole movie
was around like Monsters and different
things yeah maybe like stalked down like
something because definitely in pop
culture he’s probably been made fun of
more when he’s really like the victim of
this terrible parentage and although
that as a kid I’ll tell you what that
scene like that first scene when you’re
introduced to him you just see his back
and he’s chained up and he’s like he’s
like super scary holy [ __ ] that’s like
well I thought he was part of the
one-eyed like crew that they’ve found or
something yeah so I was like oh he’s
like yeah for you watch the movie no no
in the movie I was like oh [ __ ] so they
like the bad guys are there because they
know about the treasure too that’s why
they broke out I don’t even know what
they were bad guys for like what’s the
reason well they’re like um armed
robbers and stuff like that I mean the
they’re fratellis there that they knew
about the treasure two and their you
know but then I’m just being all
coincidence you know going on and they
also don’t have no problem killing
people but they just like continue to
let these kids get away and they tried
to kill them they couldn’t they were
unsuccessful they’re gonna put Chuck’s
hand in a blender I mean come on also
just a lot of yelling and screaming the
whole time I mean again as if if I watch
this as a kid I probably have no issues
with it but the first time watching it I
was like holy [ __ ] can we have like a
break real quick for like not yelling
about like oh my God we must died again
it’s like that’s the whole point of this
movie like you’re gonna be you’re gonna
scream every single scene it’s like yeah
so they did that yeah I will I’ll agree
with you there and that seems to be like
the number one criticism from the the
critics out there was just like it’s
just like a lot of yelling well even
even in the house when they’re like
messing around they’re just screaming
the whole time you’re like what’s going
on here why why is this happening they
took that 120 page script paired it down
to like 80 pages of just kids yelling
but uh but yeah you know just gotta keep
the sound right turn the subtitles on so
because I didn’t know what they’re
saying at the time which is I usually
don’t understand data that’s just not
nice I couldn’t understand any of them
that’s why I turned to the phone are you
one of those people that listens but
watches movies with subtitles on I don’t
that’s that’s what that’s how big of a
stretch I had I had to put them on
because I was like I don’t know what’s
what’s going on here yeah we have some
friends that we were watching the last
of us and we went to their place to
watch an episode and they watched it
with the subtitles on and I was like I
rate on the inside because I I hate that
I understand it like when it’s like The
Wire season four and you like can’t
understand some of the characters so
like you need to put it on yeah but for
me I just get distracted and I just read
the whole thing so I don’t see anything
I’m just reading I also hate what
they’re going to say before they say it
yeah yeah as well my brother-in-law is
tough he’s a little hard of hearing so
he puts it on especially because he’s
also got like two kids who are just
playing Goonies AKA just screaming the
whole time so
he puts it on and I’m like [ __ ] I’m
whatever we’re watching I’m out I’m just
like I can’t I can’t do it so my hate
was I didn’t really understand at the
end why no one was talking about the
pirate ship chunks eating dominoes
data’s talking to talking like talking
photos none of the kids are like hey Mom
Dad you know that hidden treasure that’s
been talked about for 400 years yeah we
found it and we’ve saved the community
because we’re gonna use it if that
pirate ship appears just know that we
found it patent pending trademarked
whatever you need to know we found that
instead they’re all just like hey it’s
good to see you guys no mention of the
fratellis no mention that there’s people
hunting
you know there’s guns about getting shot
at it’s just like hey oh let me get a
slice of pepperoni oh Dad I love you
you’re so terrible taking photos I just
I didn’t really understand it it took
until the fratellis came out of the
water for them to be like oh yeah those
guys are here and then then the pirate
ship came out everyone’s just like
smiling and nodding not like whoa get on
a boat and get over there because
there’s tons of jewels on there that
we’re going to be secure for the next
eight generations of this family so yeah
I didn’t didn’t really understand that
but hey props to one eyewilly that [ __ ]
floats man those guys were great
Engineers whatever they did really good
job by them I didn’t really as well
talking about I’m gonna just chop up the
story here and the the the story of how
one eyewilly got trapped in the cave I
know that you know it’s it’s a a story
that gets passed down and changed and
all that stuff so so who really knows I
understand okay lots of ships I can get
that they went to a cave got
cannonballed and stuck in there okay
sure why the British people didn’t want
to try to get any of the loot back
doesn’t make a ton of sense but more
importantly why were the British
operating off the coast of Oregon in the
early 1600s there’s no Panama Canal so
how’d they sail there like it’s not even
possible you’re going to go around South
America but yeah
they keep a good hope like that’s my
whole point of like why the Spanish
would be there it doesn’t make any sense
right the Spanish had at least taken
over some of the South American
countries So in theory they could have
had like access to the Pacific okay even
if they like had Mexico and whatnot it
had access to the to the west side of
Mexico but the British like I don’t know
although the Portuguese and whatnot did
go to Japan in the early 1600s so it’s
possible the British were there if you
read Shogun my favorite novel of all
time uh you would know this but you
refused to read a thousand page I’ve
never said I wouldn’t also how about the
the structural engineers that are set up
that gym you know putting the piping in
and then they’re like look at there’s a
big hallway down here that that’s like
trap set up for people yeah let’s ignore
that let’s just have the pipes and
they’ll just mine our own business yeah
or the wishing well just like wait yes
you’re almost at the end yeah you’re one
piano in one slide away from from having
all this but uh let’s not worry about it
also talk about the gym the guy with the
soap around his neck was that a thing
pardon me what he had like it was like
soap on a rope but it was like a
necklace oh yeah you don’t want to drop
the soap get in the shower everyone
knows that why not why because it’s
slippery what do you mean you want to
pick it up no but then you slip on the
ground and you go to pick it up and next
thing you know you’re able to face full
of uh you know soap in your face and and
concrete oh okay that must be it last
thing last thing I hate I gotta say it
Andy I honestly I just didn’t like what
you said to Mikey she told him you keep
kissing girls like that and parts that
don’t work will catch up to the parts
that do is she shaming him for having
asthma because he can’t control that so
oh wait what when did she say that like
towards the end after he’d kissed her or
whatever yeah she was a little smitten
with her she wanted some more that brace
face right I liked it she liked it watch
out for that hole I think brand was
standing in it wait she says the parts
that don’t work will catch up to them
you keep kissing girls like that and the
parts that don’t work will catch up to
the parts that do what is what part is
this dick not working that’s what I said
it was like if not it’s asthma then what
is she insinuating that his weiner
doesn’t work yeah honestly I just didn’t
appreciate it no I don’t care for it I
didn’t appreciate it on his bath so uh
Andy just get it together you goonie
okay let’s get into some studio notes I
mean it’s a pretty epic writer director
producer combo we got the screenplay by
Chris Columbus who did sail across the
giant ocean and that’s right off the
heels of him riding Gremlins which is a
great film if you haven’t seen that
great movie he Chris Columbus for those
that don’t know went on to direct
Adventures of babysitting a couple years
later both Home Alone movies the first
two Mrs Doubtfire another two the first
two Harry Potter movies so you know he
he had a nice little run there it was
directed by Richard Donner who did
Superman the original Chris Reeves and
the Lethal Weapon franchise which holds
a wonderful place in my heart last but
surely not at least the story was by
Steven Spielberg heard of him uh he’s
also a producer on the movie and
according to Sean Aston basically
co-directed it I watched the Spielberg
documentary once I was really really
interesting I like went and just read
his Wikipedia page it’s wild like the
stuff that he was involved in that was
so good even like when we were kids like
you remember Animaniacs Pinky and the
Brain like he produced those he was he
was in on that yeah you know it was just
like he was he touched so many things I
mean obviously we all know about the big
ones that’s why I was uh always working
with kids well he definitely had a huge
hand in a bunch of kid stuff
didn’t mean that to come out like it
came out and I’m sure that’s what he
said too but he’s just you know seems
like just a great guy honestly seems
like a great guy yeah I like it uh The
Goonies was released on June 7 1985 it
grossed 125 million on a 19 million
dollar budget so as much as Keith wants
to hate on it it still made a [ __ ] ton
of money it was selected for
preservation of the U.S national film
registry by the Library of Congress as
being culturally historically or
aesthetically significant another big Fu
to Keith right there and uh they
actually built uh when I really ship
like in full in order to get like the
kids reaction for the reaction shot when
they see it in the film yeah they didn’t
let the kids see it until till they were
like ready to film and so they’re like
all right finally the kids are gonna see
it they filmed it and was like the kids
were a little chaotic we didn’t get the
shot we wanted so we need to shoot it
again
but no one would buy the ship afterwards
you know they had they were trying to
sell the ship yeah and no one bites so
they had to break it down and
unfortunately one I really should
remember the Caribbean when you needed
it yeah seriously right most of the film
was made in was like filmed in Astoria
Oregon place where it took place which
is interesting Mikey and Brand’s house
was open to the public so fans could go
and take a look-see uh and tell like I
think like early 2000s and then the
people who owned it were like get the
uh let’s get some recast rewrite review
it’s got a 76 critics 91 audience on
Rotten Tomatoes like I said before most
of the negative reviews were basically
like around kids screaming and yeah that
was like pretty much it being too loud
was really the thing it was like this is
just too loud so yeah I don’t know
people can’t just like suspend disbelief
well I I didn’t mind that at first when
it first happened I was like oh this is
cool because this is actually it seems
like it’s real kids like this is what
happened but then after like minute like
it’s 50 I was like holy [ __ ] can we can
we stop with this for like a minute you
know yeah no I get you and I thought the
same thing too in this sense of like
well what would I do if I was there I’d
be screwing my face off like yeah I’d be
like chunk the whole time be like
bullet holes bullet holes Mikey we
didn’t really talk about Truffle Shuffle
you feel you okay with fat shaming there
I I mean there’s a lot of 80s tropes I
think and that’s one of them where it
was just like all right so we’re gonna
have one actor that’s just uh gonna be
overweight and we’ll just make fat jokes
the whole time at his dispense and it’s
just like all right they’re not even
original You Gotta Give me something
funny at least well the actor thinned
out yeah I think he’s like a famous uh
agent now Hollywood agent really yeah
and he he represents like the guy that
the director that did parasite good for
him for sure
yeah all right yeah I think we I think
we pretty much covered the goodies I I
want to know what your score is what’s
your score what’s your rating how many
people I mean again I think this is a
little bit different because I saw it as
an adult and not a younger fellow and I
probably would have liked it more yeah
you’re a depraved child your parents
didn’t let you watch great movies so now
you had to watch it as an adult I’d give
it a 1.5 stars or Buddies
you give Sandlot too which to me is uh
blasphemy so I mean if that that’s a two
this is uh zero I mean that’s back to
the matter so this is a 1.5 you think as
a kid I watched Indiana Jones so like
what would I rather watch this or
Indiana Jones like Indiana Jones a
thousand times or a thousand it’s not
even close you know I mean like so I
don’t really understand I I just didn’t
think it was that good
okay that’s fair I give it a a three
star rating some three buddies on this I
give it an additional .25 based on
Nostalgia we’re going for for 3.25 here
for for me which is kind of in line with
with Robert E Roger Ebert said so we
kind of trust that he’s he kind of knows
what he’s talking about as opposed to
you I’ll find a Roger David teller
terrible review right now no I know he’s
got a lot of them don’t don’t worry
about it
um all right what do we got what do we
got coming up next next We Got No
Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
and then we’re gonna watch the movie No
Country Ultraman you’re so excited so we
got both those coming up we also have
the Martian coming up in the future yeah
yep all all sorts of good good things on
the way we gotta find some some more
books so uh people out there if you have
some recommendations let us know
otherwise Keith you let me know all
right remember Keith Goonies Never say
die or make mistakes but we always make
mistakes
imagine if you were playing a game and
like you didn’t have two dice and you
only had one and like Goonies couldn’t
even say
done all right well that’s The Goonies
and we’ll catch you next time for No
Country for Old Men all right yep I know