The Worst Part of Every Job: Being Talked Down To and Having to Take It
There is nothing that gets my blood going like being talk down to. It infuriates me. Which should come as no surprise since I grew up in New England. Our whole personality is based around the concept of: “oh, you think you’re better than me?” It’s in our DNA, and is a staple of every great Boston Movie – Good Will Hunting, The Town, The Departed, Gone Baby Gone, even the Social Network.
In fact, the best thing about growing up in New England is that early in life your friends will curb any braggadocios, narcissistic, asshole behavior by endlessly mocking/making fun of you. You wear something flashy, you say something arrogant, you’re being a dickhead, you’re immediately put down. Your social group kept you in check. Even though the barbs and jokes can be hurtful at times, it was much like a parent disciplining a child for poor behavior, in the end you became a better person.
Now when you get into the ‘real world’, suddenly you start to encounter far too many people that have never gone through this life altering process. The people who are given an ounce of power over someone or placed in a ‘prestigious’ role and want everyone to know about it. These people think their title is a reflection of their intelligence and standing in the world. It’s not just in work scenarios either, you can find these people commonly at restaurants berating waiters, at airports screaming about masks, really in any group or power dynamic these people will present themselves. Yes, sadly even at book clubs, which is why the Buddy Book Club exists. My favorite TikTok sums this pretty well:
But the worst part about working at a job is that you have to take it. Just sit there and let someone be a complete asshole while you nod and smile. You can’t walk away from the situation, or confront them, can’t endlessly mock them (other than behind their back). You don’t want to be fired, and they know you don’t want to be fired, so they can just act like a dickhead with no repercussions. It’s the modern version of bullying. This is why I always try to be extra nice to the person working at service jobs. They have it the the worst. They not only have to constantly deal with their managers but also with customers. I’m sorry if you’re in a role like that.
5 Most Condescending Sayings You Have to Deal With At Work
You are in a shitty work situation if you’re hearing any of these constantly:
5. Being corrected with the term “Actually…”
The clip doesn’t do it justice, but Billy Burr is right as usual. I can’t stand someone correcting you and starting out with “actually…” this usually occurs right after some innocuous comment too. Start with “I think it’s…” or “Oh really, I thought it was…” and you won’t sound like a gigantic condescending asshole aka Ted Mosby.
4. “And what does that tell you?”
This happens a lot when you’re young and in a training situation or do something wrong. “Buddy, we’re starting to see the garbage pile up, and what does that tell you?” “That I should take the garbage out?” Just tell me what you want me to do, I don’t need a goddamn quiz. I will not be patronized!
3. “I don’t have time for this”
Unless you’re working in the armed forces or ER Triage center these words shouldn’t be uttered out of anyone’s mouth at a job. You’re not that important, you probably have plenty of time, but want everyone to know how hard you work. This is the George Costanza of answers, always looking annoyed not having “time” for anything.
2. “I’m curious why you would do X”
No, no you’re not curious. The word ‘curious’ doesn’t soften the blow and make, “why would you do that”, better, it makes it 10x worse. You’re not Sherlock Holmes solving some case, you’re grandstanding to make it sound like you’ve thought of every possibility and this one is incomprehensible to you. Now here is a scene of someone using ‘curious’ the right way:
1. “Ha, you think…”
This is the worst one of all, laughing at what someone says. In a non-work situation this could lead to fistacuffs. A little chuckle and then talking down to someone is how WW1 started. The term “I’ll show you”, was literally invented to combat the this condescending laugh. In the job setting, this is the absolute worst. Can’t happen. It’s this meme personified:
What the world needs to combat this type of behavior and these sayings is an anonymous rating system, like Rate my Professor or Uber/Lyft star rating for people in power. Only way to keep some of these people in check is to know that there will be repercussions. Hey, maybe China is on to something.
