Underrated Eats: Best School Lunch Snacks
The Underrated Eats section we cover off on underappreciated foods and food joints. For those that like their food hot and their takes even hotter!
With school now officially back in session, let’s focus on the best part of every school day or any work day for that matter: lunch. I know some of you got to buy school lunch everyday which could either be amazing (chicken finger & curly fry day) or terrible (any day they served bean/some other unidentifiable gruel). But we’re talking about brown bag lunches. Side note – If you had a cool lunch box I don’t trust you/ I was (am still) super envious.
Half of the fun of getting handed a brown bag was the mystery of what was inside, we’re breaking down the best possible lunch snacks.
Top 5 Lunch Snacks
5. Cut Up Apples & Peanut Butter
Kicking things off with one of the healthier options, dipping apples and peanut butter rules. It really didn’t feel like a healthy snack, it was more like a high-brow Dunkaroos. Luckily in my day they didn’t restrict peanut butter in lunches like they do now, those with peanut allergies had to tough it out and get mentally stronger. The world isn’t going to just cater to all your weaknesses and needs! They didn’t slow everyone else down in English class just because I could barely read (although that would have been nice – did I mention this is a book club site?)
Sorry for getting side-tracked, the two biggest keys for this snack are 1. the apples must be cut up, we’re not savages here, how else are we going to dip them in the peanut butter? 2. The peanut butter has to be Skippy’s. I do not fuck with JIF or any organic bullshit. Here at the BBC we are only brand loyal to a few things: Heinz Ketchup and Skippy being two of the most important.
4. Cheez-Its (Preferably Extra Toasty)
Pair some Cheez-Its with an ice cold chocolate milk and it brings me right back to my school days or to yesterday afternoon when I had this combination at lunch. We’ve already written a full blog on why Extra Toasty Cheez-Its are the best snack in the world, so not a lot to add to this one. But really there is no better salty snack out there, give me Cheez-Its all day, every day.
3. Chocolate Chip Cookies
Chocolate Chip cookies are a classic for a reason. I myself was a Chips Ahoy man, but really any chocolate chip cookie with a carton of milk really tied together the whole meal. There is a deli near me now that gives out chocolate chip cookies anytime you buy a sandwich, and to be honest the sandwiches are just okay, but any business that gives a free cookie out is one I want to fully support. Other businesses should start doing this, imagine pulling up to a gas station and getting handed a warm chocolate chip cookie after you filled up, I’d suddenly become really excited to get gas.
2. Chocolate Pudding aka Snack Pack
Nothing really reminds me more of school lunches as much as a chocolate pudding in a snack pack. Obviously this is highlighted quite well in Billy Madison. You got a couple of these bad boys on ice and you’ll be the king of the cafeteria, like having Kevin Durant as a trading chip.
1. Fruit Snacks
Fruit snack are by far the best thing to pull out of your lunch bag. Great in any situation, the envy of every classmate. You almost had to keep your fruit snacks secret otherwise classmates around you would want to ‘try one’ or have you ‘pull off a piece’. For shame. Here is a ranking within a ranking of the top fruit snacks, a little rankings Inception:
5) Welch’s Fruit Snacks – I think these we’re deemed ‘healthy’ fruit snack option so great excuse to convince your parents to buy them
4) Fruit Roll-Ups – Stuck to your teeth for days but was worth it
3) Gushers – Fruit snack + liquid sugar explosion? Yeah, sign me up.
2) Fruit by the Foot – I think the reason people become cocaine addicts is because they’re trying to catch the high they got while rolling out a line of Fruit by the Foot
1) Shark Bites – Undisputed champ, I could down 12 packs of these and be ready for more, unfortunately no longer produced, Rest in Peace
Relevant Long P.S. One of my favorite jokes: 3 construction workers are on the top of a skyscraper, they open their lunch pales up. The first worker, Joe says, ‘ham again? If I get another ham sandwich I’m jumping off this skyscraper.” Second guy, Fred, opens up his lunch, “another turkey sandwich, I’m jumping if I get this again”, Third guy, Dylan, opens up his lunch, “salami again, I’m jumping if get this one more time.” Next day, Joe, Fred and Dylan open their lunch pales, and once again Joe gets ham, Fred gets turkey, Dylan gets salami. They all take the plunge and jump from the building and die. At the funeral Joe and Fred’s wives are there crying by their caskets, Dylan’s wife is looking angry. Joe’s wife between tears says, “if only Joe had told me he wanted something different for lunch!” Fred’s wife agrees. Dylan’s wife still looking angry says, “Dylan made his own lunch.”
