We Should End Time Zones and Use a World Clock

There is a lot of hate in the world. Here at the Buddy Book Club, we try to bring just a little bit of positivity, hope, and joy. We’re almost like a charity in that sense, but more important and without all the notoriety. Now have we made some illicit comments about a book/character/person/institution/countries in the past… Perhaps, but it’s all in a fun lighthearted manner. We make up for some of our past transgressions by providing solutions that will make the world a better place/probably bring world peace. 

While we joke about a lot of things, we’re dead serious about our newest proposal: Banning Time Zones. Time zones are a nightmare. Random lines drawn on a map to determine what time it is. Back in the day time zones made sense, everyone pretty much lived in the same area for their whole life and if you moved it was easier to just adopt ‘normal hours’. For most of our existence we haven’t been able to interact with people in other time zones, but now we’re constantly connected with people from all over the world. Doing the math and converting hours to figure out the right meeting times makes no sense. Why does 12 pm need to be the middle of the day everywhere? It’s just a time on a clock and really it isn’t even the middle of the day, that changes constantly (as we discussed on The Inheritance Games episode).

I guess we’ve had the whole 9-5 mindset drilled into us forever. 9-5 = sun up working hours. But who says that the middle of the day can’t actually be 10pm-6 am (or 22:00-6:00 in this example as we’d switch to a 24 hour clock)? Deciding that every place should change the time to fit the traditional daytime and nighttime hours is dumb. It would be like changing the months in the southern hemisphere when you think about it. Just because we’re used to it being summer months in July and August, doesn’t mean we should reorder those months in the southern hemisphere so it works out that way.

Also, how weird is it that people in Australia are living in the future? If you’re living in Hawaii, you’re ahead of Australia by four hours, but Australia is a day ahead of you. It’s tomorrow there right now. Does that make any sense? (I’d make so many dad jokes about this if I lived in Australia and was talking to someone in the US). Imagine an alien came down to earth and asked us to explain how we keep time. We then had to explain how the clock and the day is different depending on what area of the world you live in, it makes no sense!

The Solution: create one clock that everyone goes off of. No more time zones. This will prevent confusion, get everyone on the same page/24-hour clock. I also propose we get rid of leap year days (these were already pretty dumb), and instead make New Years day a world wide holiday, and make this day 30 hours long to account for the 365 days and ~6 hours it takes the earth to revolve around the sun (or sun to revolve around the earth depending on which scientists you believe). This would also adjust the clocks so that there is no favoritism being played for certain time zones initially. Every year the clock would shift 6 hours for everyone.

You probably think this is a really stupid idea (you’re probably right) but the US military already does this, and you can say anything you want about me, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. End time zones and bring unity to the world!